Shades of Grey
by MadAlice76
Summary: "Haven't you ever just wanted to break free of this...perfect mold you've had your entire life?" She said, her delicate features forming a slight sneer as she said the word 'perfect' "Ever since i was little" I replied quietly. "Then why don't you?" Characters will be OOC. rating subject to change, potential minor self-harm, drug abuse and excessive drinking. You have been warned
1. Prologue

_People will say that we can make our own destiny, but what if our whole life had been planned out for us right from birth?_

_How can we possibly break free of that without letting down not only a part of ourselves, but also letting down everyone around us?_

_Truth is we can't, so instead we strive to be perfect. To be everything everyone has always wanted us to be._

_But perfection is a prison and our entire life is just one big lie, sometimes we crave with everything that we are that we could be perfect._

_And that we could have the life that we've always dreamt of, but its not something we can accomplish alone._

_In our life, we meet people. Sometimes they're bad and sometimes they're good but i believe that we meet them for a specific reason._

_Life isn't always black and white, its full of shades of grey._

_Sometimes all it takes is one simply little event to make us question and doubt all that we know._

_And all that we had believed to be true._

_They say ignorance is bliss but really...ignorance is pain. I used to pride myself on being the smartest girl in school, but i realized that being book smart could only get me so far._

_I also realized that i was nothing more than an achievement to my family, they didn't love me._

_They needed me in order to complete their picture perfect life, i can lie to myself and say it doesn't hurt._

_But I can only lie so much before i stop believing it._

_My name is Spencer Hastings and this is my story._

__**A/N Hi guys! So i know i promised i would be posting more of my Jenna/Spencer story but i am at a complete roadblock there . and this little plot bunny came to me so i just had to post it. Now i will only continue if people actually think its decent, remember reviews=happy author XD oh and i know i've never said this before but i have to now...I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Except my computer...and my coffee. Kinda. LOOL okay bye dears ._. -Alice**


	2. The Start Of Perfection

"Spencer time to wake up!" Loud knocking sounded at my door and i groaned, desperately seeking even a minute more of delightful sleep.

The knocking increased and my sister's voice came even louder than before, "Spencer! Get your butt up and get dressed, you'll be late for school."

"I'm up already, calm down." I grumbled and threw the covers back roughly, I heard Melissa stomp down the hall and sighed.

I got out of bed and the movement caused the books i had been studying last night to tumble to the floor, i bent and picked them up.

Placing them on my desk gently and walking over to my wardrobe to pull out an outfit for the day i allowed my thoughts to drift for a few minutes.

I had been doing this exact routine since i was little.

Woken up always by Melissa never my parents, pick out an outfit, get ready for the day, eat breakfast which had developed simply into coffee as i got older, and then another day being Spencer Hastings.

There was no other way to explain it, i had more extracurriculars than anyone else had, was captain of the debate team, on the field hockey team and was vice president.

My entire life was planned out for me by my parents. Go to a prestigious college, majoring in either law, medicine, or business.

Marry a respectable well bred man, have two point five children and live the perfect life. Its exactly what they had done and what they expected of me and Melissa.

Well..more me than Melissa since she was the star of the family. She did everything right and no matter how hard i tried i could never measure up to her.

It made me a little less important, a little less valued to my parents. Of course out in public you would never know that.

Oh no, the Hastings family was by all means…perfect. God how i despised that word, shaking my head to clear my thoughts i saw that i only had about ten minutes to get to school.

Cursing my stupid thinking, i quickly finished getting ready and grabbed my book bag before running out of my room and downstairs.

I saw Melissa and my mother sitting at the breakfast table, i knew i didn't have time to stop and eat so i simply grabbed an apple.

"Bye mom, bye Melissa." I said, barely getting a nod back from each of them. Sighing quietly to myself i walked out of the house and to my car.

* * *

Glancing at my watch as i parked my car in the parking lot of Rosewood High, i saw i only had a minute to be in class.

Getting out of the car, i leaped up the steps of the school and ran into the nearly empty halls. The final warning bell rang and i sprinted to my english class.

I was relieved to see the teacher wasn't there yet and i saw one of my only true friends Emily Fields shoot me an amused glance.

Rolling my eyes at her, i sat down in the seat next to her and pulled out my books. "I guess all those field hockey drills really come in handy in situations like this huh?" Emily said.

"Ha, yes they do." I said dryly, Emily shook her head and started flipping through her english book as the teacher walked in.

Since i had already read most of the book i barely paid attention to what the teacher was saying, instead i let my eyes wander around the class.

I found myself looking into bored and slightly mocking blue gray eyes, the eyes of Hanna Marin. Rosewood's resident bad girl, or at least that's what people like to label her as.

She was more than pretty enough to be the popular IT girl but she always turned up her nose and mocked girls like that. Her favorite to make fun of were Alison DiLaurentis and her soon to be replacement Aria Montgomery.

I'd heard the jokes and snotty remarks she made with her friends about the "Queen Bee" of the school.

What stunned me was that Hanna had long blonde hair, fair skin and a body most girls would kill for but she never seemed to care about her looks or the fact that most guys drooled over her.

I heard that instead she liked to party however and from what i'd heard..she liked to party hard. She had a reputation for getting into fights with both men and women, most people were too scared to say anything to her face though which amused me seeing as they could say it just fine behind her back.

She also seemed to be a real smartass and a bitch, and that was just from hearing her arguments with Alison. They were both bitches don't get me wrong, but Hanna had an edge to her that Alison didn't.

No one really truly knew much about Hanna other than she liked to have fun, which was odd seeing as she had grown up here but it was simply like she was invisible until she turned sixteen.

I realized i was still staring at her and that she was smirking at me, "See something you like Hastings?" she mouthed and i blushed and looked away quickly.

I heard her soft chuckle right before the bell rang, signaling the end of class. "I'll uh see you later Emily." I said quickly and gathered up my books.

I shot Emily a small smile before nearly running out of the room. I had no idea why i was so flustered, i mean i'd heard rumors that Hanna swung both ways but why should that affect me?

I was perfectly straight and besides a girl like Hanna and a girl like me were never meant to interact in any way. It would ruin my image as little miss perfect.

That could not happen, i didn't want to think about what the repercussions would be if something tarnished my image.

Because i didn't need to study a book to know that my parents would come down hard on me, and that thought terrified me.


	3. Empty Threats and Twinkling Eyes

**A/N now like i said the characters are going to be VERY OOC and you'll start to see that here. Now with that being said, i can take constructive criticism but i will not tolerate flames. Other than that, enjoy! and please don't forget to review and let me know what you think :) **

I was leaning against my locker flipping through a history book when i heard yells coming from a little ways down the hall. I could see kids running towards the noise, feeling curious, i followed them and pushed my way through the small crowd that had formed. I instantly regretted that.

Right there in the middle of the hall Hanna Marin and Alison DiLaurentis were in a full physical fight, well more like Hanna was throwing punches and Alison simply looked like she was trying to protect her face. People were chanting Hanna's name and i could see why, the girl could fight.

Ali was on the hockey team with me but clearly she didn't practice outside of the field, Hanna landed a swift punch to her nose and everyone could hear the crack as Alison's nose broke.

Alison shrieked and tackled Hanna causing Hanna's head to crack against the tile, i could see Alison's little protege Aria watching the fight but she didn't look happy. She looked nervous, jumpy and as if she wanted to break up the fight, but the girl was tiny i knew she'd get hurt if she jumped in the middle of it.

Sighing to myself i pushed my way to the middle of the hall and yanked Alison off of Hanna. "Break it up NOW!" I said forcefully, "Stay out of it Spencer! Go back to your books." Alison spat at me and tried to shove past me, but i was stronger than her so i shoved her back. "I said ENOUGH." I felt someone slam into my back and i quickly twisted around and pinned Hanna's arms behind her back.

She struggled against me and i had to admit i was having a lot of difficulty keeping her contained, "Hanna stop it. You're going to get in more trouble than its worth." I said, she stopped and shot an ice cold glare at me.

"Whatever." She twisted out of my grip and wiped the blood of her lip, "Hey queen bitch, maybe now you can actually get a prettier nose. I already did half the work for the surgeons." Hanna said to Alison with a smirk on her face.

"Screw you Marin. Oh wait i forgot, half the school has screwed you already." Alison said with a nasty smile on her face. "What is going on here?" Everyone immediately scattered as the principle came barreling down the hall, I tried to slip away as quick as possible but he spotted me.

"Hastings! What happened here?" mentally cursing i turned back and said, "Hanna and Alison were fighting, it went too far and i tried to break it up Principal Davis." I saw him turn his gaze to Alison and Hanna, who were both glaring intensely at each other.

"Who started this fight?" He barked at me, before i could answer however Aria piped up. "Hanna started it sir!" Hanna's gaze whipped around to Aria and i could see the tiny girl cringe back in fear, "You little bitch, you know damn well that she started it as usual."

"That's enough. Both of you my office now! Ms. Hastings, Ms. Montgomery off to class." Me and Aria nodded obediently as the group made off.

I turned to walk back to my locker when i noticed Aria following after me, "Can i help you?" I said curtly, she looked up at me and bit her lip. "Well uh…i just wanted to say thanks."

I looked at her surprised, "For what?" i asked. "For breaking up the fight, i wanted to but..i didn't know how." She replied meekly, "Are you glad i broke it up because you were scared for Hanna or for Alison?"

"Well..actually i'm glad because maybe now Alison won't yell as much about the fight since all that was broken was her nose but knowing Ali…well it could go either way." Aria said and tugged at the feather she was wearing in her hair nervously.

"Who did start the fight?" I asked and Aria looked nervous before answering, "Alison did, but if i had said that than..you don't know what she would have done to me." I could see a flash of fear in her eyes and i wondered exactly what kind of "friend" Alison was.

I looked Aria up and down and i honestly wondered why this girl was friends with Alison, she seemed too nice and too sweet. Something inside of me told me that Alison would break her sooner or later and i truly didn't want that to happen to someone so...innocent.

"Hey do you want to grab a coffee after school maybe?" Aria said, snapping me out of my thoughts. Glancing at her i saw she had a hopeful sort of look in her hazel eyes.

"I can't." I said and felt a pang of guilt when i saw the disappointed look in her eyes, "I uh have field hockey practice, but if you're willing to wait we could go after?" I said quickly and was oddly pleased as a happy smile graced her pixyish features.

"Sure! I'll see you later than." She said excitedly and skipped off down the hall, i watched amusedly and shook my head. She seemed extremely nice, maybe a little too eager but i had a knack for reading people and i knew there was probably some fire underneath it all.

Glancing at my watch i realized i was supposed to meet Emily outside on the steps for lunch, running quickly i turned the corner and accidentally slammed into someone. "Watch it!" I heard a snarky voice say, glancing up i saw Alison standing there with her hands on her hips.

Rolling my eyes i went to gather my books but her foot shot out and kicked them across the floor, "Listen to me Spencer, if you ever cross me again i will ruin you." Standing up i glared at her, "You don't scare me Alison." I said, she simply laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder as she strutted away.

Taking a deep breath, i bent down and started gathering up my books. I saw a pair of black motorcycle boots before jean clad legs knelt down next to me and started helping me. "Thanks." I said, not looking up to see who it was. "No problem Hastings." my head snapped up and i found myself staring into those mocking blue eyes.

I could see a bruise forming on her cheek but it didn't stop her from smirking, I stood up quickly and she did the same. "Well thanks again." I said politely and went to walk away but her voice stopped me.

"Thank you for stopping the fight." I looked back at her surprised, she smirked at me again and said "I probably would have ended up ripping her hair out, then gotten suspended instead of a month of detention so..thank you." She winked and walked away.

Shaking my head, but laughing in spite of myself i walked outside and joined Emily on the steps. "Hey, what are you laughing about?" She asked me with a soft smile, "Nothing." I said with a smile of my own.

"Oh well did you hear about the fight between Hanna and Alison?" She said and i couldn't help it, i laughed remembering the way Hanna's eyes had twinkled in amusement briefly before she had walked away.


	4. Oranges and Roses

I was exhausted, sweaty, dirty and felt like crawling into bed to sleep for eternity, but it was hard to be depressed when you had a tiny hyper cheerleader on the side encouraging you.

I will admit that having Aria watch me practice was kinda fun, she was eager, loud, and always praised me when i made a good shot.

I had told her to cool it a bit when i started to get embarrassed but she seemed to take that as a sign to amp it up.

Damn pixie. Shaking my head at the nickname i had come up with i wiped my face and placed my hockey stick down. I saw Aria come bounding over to me, she had an excited grin on her face.

"That was awesome Spencer! I never knew field hockey was that cool." She said and i chuckled, "Alison's on the team too, i'm sure you've seen her play at least once." Aria shook her head and her smile faded a bit.

"She never let me come and watch, said she didn't need a hippy groupie hanging around her during practice." I saw Aria's eyes dim a little and immediately felt anger towards Alison.

God she was a bigger bitch than i thought. "Well i don't mind at all, so how about i go change real quick and then we go grab that coffee." I said with a smile and was happy when Aria returned it brightly.

"Okay!" She said and i laughed, grabbing my stuff and heading to the locker rooms. It took me about ten minutes to shower and change, i walked out of the locker room and saw Aria waiting outside.

"All set?" She asked with a smile, i smiled back and nodded. We walked to her car and got inside, she started driving and i allowed myself to relax a few minutes. My muscles were sore and and i still had to complete all my ap homework when i got home.

I groaned to myself and Aria looked at me, "Is something wrong?" She asked and i could hear the sincerity in her voice, "Its nothing, just tired and exhausted." I said with a small smile.

She nodded and stopped the car in front of the Brew, we got out and i held the door open while she walked in. "Hey you go find a place to sit, i'll order for us." Too tired to protest, i went over to the couches in the back and nearly collapsed in one.

I rubbed my shoulder and winced slightly at the tenderness, Aria came over and sat down next to me before handing me my coffee.

"Here, i totally forgot to ask what you liked so i just got you a mocha. I hope its okay." She said nervously and i smiled, "Its perfect thanks. As long as its coffee i don't care what kind it is."

I said and my smile widened when she seemed less nervous. We sat in silence for a few minutes before i broke it, "How come you're friends with Alison?"

Oh damn i hadn't actually meant to say that so bluntly, but i was always one to speak what was on my mind. Aria looked around as if scared that Alison would somehow hear her before leaning closer and say quietly,

"Well she's my only real friend i guess. I mean after me and my family moved to Iceland for a year, she was the only one who would talk to me when i came back." I nodded, i guess i could understand why she would stick around.

But i had one more thing to ask, "I get that, but she seems to treat you so horribly. I mean i'm sure you could make other friends so why stick around her?" At this point Aria looked even more nervous.

She leaned in even closer and i could smell her perfume, it smelled like oranges and roses. A very nice smell, mentally berating myself for losing focus i turned my attention back to what she was saying.

"With Alison…its better to be her friend than her enemy. She has…stuff on me, stuff i wouldn't want anyone to know and she wouldn't hesitate to spill it all simply to show me that she can. Don't get me wrong she can be a good friend when she wants but sometimes…its hard to tell whether she actually cares or not."

I wondered what Alison had on her but whatever it was, it was clear that Aria didn't want to tell anyone else, so instead i said "Aria you can't let one person control your life like that. You're an amazing person, and anyone would be lucky to be your friend." I said sincerely.

She smiled slightly at me and said "Yeah like who?" "Well me for one, i know its only the first time we've talked to each other but we're friends now." I said and was startled when she suddenly hugged me.

I was once again surrounded by that damn scent of hers, but i wouldn't lie and say it wasn't nice. I was rarely hugged by anyone, even Emily and me rarely hugged and she was my best friend.

"Thank you Spencer..really." She whispered and i gulped, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. "No problem Aria." I was trying to find a way to disentangle myself from her nicely when a voice made us snap apart like we had been shocked.

"Well look how sweet this looks." Alison said, we both turned to look at her and i could see the nasty sneer she had on her face and the way her voice made "sweet" sound like an insult.

"Ali! I didn't expect to see you here." Aria said and i heard the nervousness enter her voice, "Clearly. Now come on Aria, lets get out of here. I want to go shopping." Alison said and turned away, barely sparing me a glance.

I looked at Aria, my eyes urging her to stand up for herself. She simply shook her head, shot me an apologetic glance and ran out after Alison.

I sighed and finished my coffee, realizing too late that Aria had driven here. Cursing as i contemplated the walk i had ahead of me, i got up and started to walk out but stopped when i felt a gaze on me.

Looking around i found my eyes locked with a pair of eyes that i had been seeing more of than i was comfortable with. She was sitting at a table by herself in the back, her eyes were like ice and she shot me a mocking salute.

Feeling uncomfortable, i escaped out of the coffee shop and started walking home. I had no idea what was wrong with me today, i was doing things i would never do.

Feeling things that i should never feel. This wasn't right, none of it was. I shouldn't be talking to girls like Hanna Marin, shouldn't even really be hanging out with Aria.

But a part of me was telling me that there was nothing wrong with it, i didn't know what to do. Aria i could maybe hang out with, as long as Alison didn't hassle me too much.

As for Hanna…i would simply avoid her. Yep, thats exactly what i would do. But even as i convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, i couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness.

**A/N okay just to clear this up, the pairings aren't exact yet. This could turn out as either a Spanna, a Sparia, or maybe even another type of pairing. For right now the focus is simply on Spencer and the rest will come along. okay well thas all, bye!**


	5. Red Dresses and Shocking Surprises

I woke up the next morning feeling unusually sluggish and cranky, i shuffled downstairs to get some coffee and i saw Emily sitting there chatting with my mother. Emily glanced at me and smiled as she realized what i needed, silently she pushed her cup of coffee over to me and i took it after shooting her a grateful look.

I downed the entire thing and immediately felt slightly better, i sat down next to her and smiled as i waited for her to finish talking with my mother. "Well i have to be on my way, i have an important meeting with a potential client. Goodbye girls." My mother said and me and Emily chorused a goodbye to her, i sighed when she finally left and turned to look at Em.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up this morning, my car's getting detailed and won't be ready until tomorrow" i said, "No problem, now go get dressed while i make you some more coffee." Em said, pushing her dark hair out of her eyes. I nodded and stood up, "You're awesome Em, i'll be right back." She smiled at me and waited while i ran up to change.

I didn't feel like dressing too much today so i simply pulled on a grey bedazzled tank top, slipped into my jeans and shoved my feet into a pair of ballet slippers. I grabbed my phone and keys before walking back downstairs, "Okay i'm all set, ready to go?" Emily nodded and handed me a thermos of coffee, smiling at her happily we walked out to her car and got in.

The drive to school was silent but i was used to it, me and Emily never forced conversation we just let it come easily. We got out of the car and walked into school together, as we walked to my locker i saw Alison and Aria pass by.

Alison shot me a nasty glare but Aria kept her eyes on the ground despite part of me wishing she would look up, sighing i walked to my locker angrily spinning the combination and slamming my books inside once it was open.

Emily looked at me curiously and said "Spencer what's wrong?" sighing again, i slammed my locker shut and said "Nothing." Emily snorted in disbelief "Oh please i know you much better than that Spencer, now tell me what's wrong." I looked at her and decided to tell her about what happened at the Brew with Aria while we walked to class.

As we took our seats Emily was shaking her head sadly, "Wow, i mean i knew Alison wasn't exactly the nicest person but that sounds just downright cruel." I nodded my agreement and stiffened slightly as Hanna walked in, she took the seat directly behind me and i mentally cursed.

She always sat in the back why would she switch seats now? Oh well, there was nothing i could do about it. Besides i was supposed to be ignoring her so what did it matter to me where she sat, focusing instead on my notebook i started writing down what the teacher was saying.

I was doing just fine as well until i felt a tug on the back of my hair, i whipped around and saw Hanna smirking at me. I glared at her before turning back to my notes, i felt the tug again and tried to ignore it.

She did it again. And again. And again. What the hell was her problem? Getting seriously annoyed i turned around and again and whispered angrily at her, "Knock it off." She simply rolled her eyes and kept smirking at me, rolling my own eyes i faced back around.

I was relieved that she didn't do it again, but of course i should have known it wasn't over. Hanna started kicking the back of my seat, which while she wasn't actually touching me it was still annoying. She kept it up and i was coming close to losing it, next thing i knew the kicking had stopped and her lips were next to my ear,

"What's a matter Hastings? Can't concentrate?" she whispered and i snapped, i stood up furiously and turned to her. "What the fuck is your problem Marin?" She had that damn smirk on her face and simply crossed her arms over her chest,

"No problem at all." She said mockingly, i opened my mouth to retort when the teacher cut me off "Miss Hastings if you're done with interrupting my class please sit back down." I blushed as i realized everyone was staring at me and quickly sat down.

I had never once in all my years at school had an outburst during class like that, and for some reason Hanna had pushed me the wrong way. I don't know why she got under my skin so much, she just did.

Hanna left me alone for the rest of class which i was grateful for but i could feel her eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, as soon as the bell rang i gathered up my books and walked out of class quickly. Emily kept pace with me easily and i sighed knowing that she was going to ask all kinds of questions.

"Spencer, Spencer…Spencer stop!" Emily said and grabbed my arm, "What the hell was that back in class with you and Hanna?" She asked and i bit my lip, thinking about what to say to her. "It was nothing Em, just Hanna being her typical bitch self." I said curtly and Emily sighed, i saw her dark eyes were full of worry but she knew when not to push me.

"Okay if you say so, but i have to admit..hearing you snap like that was kinda funny." she said with a smile and it even made me laugh a bit, "Well what can i say? I'm just badass like that." We both started laughing and linked arms as we headed towards our next class.

* * *

The day passed by relatively normal after the incident in first period and i was thankful for that. I was walking out of the bathroom when i bumped into someone, "Oh god i'm so sorry, i didn't watch where i was going!" I heard a voice say nervously, i knew that voice. "Relax Aria, its fine." i said with a small laugh, when her hazel eyes snapped up to meet mine i saw the immediate relief.

"Oh hi Spencer, sorry about that." She said, the nervousness in her voice slowly fading. I grinned at her and said "Its fine Aria, quit apologizing all the time." She laughed a little and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Well i'm actually sorry for two things. Well…more like three now i guess." She was babbling a little but it was kinda funny.

"Well first sorry for running into you, and then sorry for running out on you yesterday. I realized i left you without a ride and that was totally uncool of me to do, and i'm really really sorry. Third i'm sorry for ignoring you this morning, again totally not cool and extremely mean of me." Aria said quickly and i shook my head,

"Aria…breathe. Okay there is nothing to apologize for." I said even though admittedly i had been a bit pissed about yesterday but watching her stumble over her apology had been hilarious and honestly how could i stay mad at her after that?

She gave me a relieved smile and i found myself smiling at her as well, "Well okay how about we go to the mall after school? I promise not to ditch you this time." She said and i laughed, even though i hated the mall i had nothing else to do. "Sure, i caught a ride here with Emily so we can leave straight from school." I said and she nodded.

Glancing at her phone i saw her eyes widen before she said a quick goodbye and sped off down the hall. For someone tiny she sure could move fast when she wanted, especially in four inch heels. If i tried that i'd probably end up facedown in the ground after three steps, chuckling to myself i set off for my final class.

* * *

I waited for Aria in the parking lot after informing Em that i'd find a way home and that i'd call her tonight, she had simply smiled and taken off for swim practice. I swear she practically lived in the water, but i was used to it. Her parents expected her to be that way, perfect student, get a swim scholarship and all that.

That's why me and her were friends, both our parents expected something out of us, something we weren't completely sure we wanted. Of course we obeyed them but i knew deep down..we both wondered what would happen if we could finally control our own life.

Shaking the ridiculous thought from my head i glanced at my phone wondering where Aria was when i saw her come running out of the school, she stopped in front of me out of breath and struggled to explain, "Sorry…i" she panted heavily, "Got caught up in.." she stopped and tried to breathe again, "The art room!" She took a deep breath and finally relaxed.

I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that she had run from the art room which was on the other side of the school or feel bad about it, as it was she had a smudge of paint on her cheek and that broke my control. "Its fine Aria, you didn't have to run the entire way." I said while still laughing, she rolled her eyes but cracked a smile regardless.

I leant forward and wiped the paint off her cheek, i saw her cheeks flush and assumed it was from embarrassment. "Although paint at the mall might not attract you any hot guys." I said with a grin, her cheeks darkened even more as she said, "Yeah definitely not.."

"Well come on, lets go. The mall awaits!" I said, trying to be enthusiastic and it must have worked because Aria's eyes brightened and she started going on about which shops she wanted to visit first. I made an effort to listen i really did but she talked really fast, but i think i did a pretty good job of keeping up.

I barely noticed we had arrived as she dragged me inside the mall and to the first store, damn the girl was strong when she wanted something. Never having been one for shopping i simply stood around and watched as she tore through the racks of clothes, picking out random things here and there.

Pretty soon she had a pile nearly as tall as her and i could barely see her head, "Here Aria let me take some of that." i said and grabbed some of the clothes before she could protest. She shot me a grateful smile and picked out a few more things. I followed her to the dressing room and dumped the clothes in one of the stalls.

I sat down on one of the chairs outside and waited while she changed, taking out my HTC i quickly scanned through my emails while waiting and saw one particular one that brought a smile to my face. It was from the one person i could count on since i was younger, the one person who always made smile no matter what.

I quickly typed a response back and sent it off, knowing that i would probably have another email waiting for me tonight. I quickly put my phone away and put the email out of my mind as Aria came out of the dressing room. "How does this look?" She asked me hesitantly.

She was wearing a deep red dress that was tight around her hips and chest and flared out slightly at the bottom, it was mid thigh length and i smiled. "Its amazing Aria." i said, okay well amazing might have been a bit of an understatement. She looked absolutely stunning. Oh crap did i really just think that? Damn, damn, double damn.

"Really? Do you think i should get it?" She asked nervously and i nodded, "Definitely. If you don't i might just have to buy it myself." i said jokingly, she laughed and walked back into the dressing room.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, maybe i was overreacting. I mean it was perfectly fine thinking that a girl was stunning, as long as i didn't think anything else. Right?God i think i was losing my mind.

Aria's voice snapped me out of my thoughts however, "Uh Spencer? Can you come in here a second..please." She said and i could hear the hesitant tone in her voice, i got up and walked inside the room carefully. "What's wrong Aria?" i asked when i saw she was still wearing the dress and seemed perfectly fine.

She blushed and said "Well i can't get the zipper down, could you help me please?" she looked desperate and i mentally shrugged off my earlier worries and stepped up behind her. She turned around and i started fiddling with the zipper.

I kept playing around with it and managed to only move it down about an inch, "Sorry its really stuck." I said apologetically, "Its okay i'm just glad you're helping me. If it were Ali…well she'd probably just tell me to walk out with it." Aria said, "You mean just pay at the counter and then get it off at home?" I asked while still trying to work the zipper down.

"No…just walk out." She said and i could tell she was embarrassed, i didn't have to ask her to clarify because i already knew what she meant. Somehow that didn't exactly surprise me, "Would you actually do it?" I asked,

"No, i mean i wouldn't want to. But Ali has a way of pressuring people into doing things." Aria said and i could see her eyes dim through the reflection in the mirror.

I didn't ask anymore questions, somehow i knew it was better to change the subject. "Well i almost got the zipper down so no worries." She smiled a little in relief and i finally managed to work the zipper down. My finger traced the line of her back of its own accord and i swore i saw her shiver slightly.

Realizing what i was doing i quickly stepped back and said "There its all done." I ducked out of the room quickly and fought to compose myself all the while mentally chanting,_ it meant nothing, it meant nothing. It meant nothing!_

But somehow i just couldn't convince myself of it. I sat back down on the chair and counted to ten, and slowly i started to feel calm again. It was nothing, and i was determined to put it out of my head. I could only hope that Aria could too.

She walked out of the dressing room carrying the red dress and a few other things and smiled at me, "Okay i'm all set." she sounded perfectly normal and perky so i could only assume that she was either oblivious to what i had done or was choosing to ignore it. Either way, i was relieved.

"Okay lets go pay and get out of here." I said with a smile and walked over to the counter with her, i waited as she paid and we walked out of the store together. "Okay so i've had enough shopping for one day, besides i have to meet Ali later. So want me to take you home?" Aria asked with a smile and i nodded in reply.

Even though a part of me didn't want to go home so soon, but Ali was calling and i knew Aria wouldn't dare stand her up. We walked to the car and the drive to my house was silent. Normally silence didn't bother me but this one did, she stopped in front of my house and turned to me.

"Thanks for coming out with me Spence, it was a lot of fun and we should hang out again soon." She said with a wide smile on her face, i smiled back at her and said, "Definitely." I went to get out of the car but she quickly hugged me. Her damn scent clouded my senses again and i briefly allowed myself to relax into her embrace.

I pulled away and got out of the car. i smiled as she drove away and sighed to myself as i walked up to the house. I stopped dead in my tracks however when i saw who was waiting for me by the front door. "Hello Hastings."

**A/N oooh cliffhanger :D i'm so evil. Hmm and who do you think that mysterious email was from? Review and you shall find out! xx**


	6. Deep Seated Rejections

"Hello Hastings." With a scream of joy i launched myself into the arms of my best friend, Caleb. He caught me easily and swung me around, "I missed you! But your email said you weren't coming for at least another week." I said once he put me down, he chuckled and said "I lied, i wanted to surprise you. I've missed you too brainiac."

I grinned at the affectionate nickname, Caleb had been my friend for years. I had met him when my mother had dragged me to one of her business meetings, Caleb's mom had been her client and she had brought along Caleb with her.

While the two were busy talking we had snuck off and started talking, we became fast friends and even though he lived in California we constantly kept in touch. He was the only one i could talk to about everything, and being near him again made everything seem okay.

I looked up at him and saw how his brown hair was still long and shaggy, he rarely cut it despite me always insisting. His brown eyes were warm and reminded me of home, his skin was lightly tanned from the California sun and i could feel new muscles in his arms where they wrapped around my waist.

"You just gonna stare all day or can we actually go inside?" Caleb said and i rolled my eyes before disentangling myself from him and walking inside, we sat down on the couch and he automatically put his arm around me. We had always been this close, he was like the brother i never had and i loved him dearly.

"So what i have i missed?" He asked while playing with a strand of my hair, i felt myself relax and started telling him everything that happened with Hanna, Aria and Alison. He stayed silent the entire time i told my story and finally spoke when i was finished, "Well Alison sounds like a bitch, Aria sounds sweet if a little insecure which being friends with Alison i can understand and as for Hanna..well i don't really know what to make of her."

I laughed a bit at his simple way of describing Alison and Aria, "Trust me Alison is a bitch and Aria..she's really nice, very hyper and eager. I just wish she would stand up to Alison, i honestly think she would be much better off." He nodded in agreement and said, "What about Hanna?"

Damn, i had been sorta hoping to avoid this but too late now. "Well she's irritating, insufferable, a bitch at times, but she's also confusing as hell, and gets under my skin in a way that no one else does." I said and Caleb laughed before tugging my hair gently,

"Whoa brainiac calm down, well from what you've told me she's been that way for a while. Maybe she's irritating you because she can and because you've never been bothered by her presence before. Or maybe its a completely different reason, maybe she likes you!" He said with a teasing smirk, i tried to laugh but i found it hard.

So instead i said in the lightest tone i could manage, "Yeah that's totally it. Rebellious bad girl Hanna Marin likes brainiac Spencer Hastings." I rolled my eyes and finally managed a small smile. Caleb's eyes swept over me and i could see him assessing me, it unnerved me because he had always been the one person that could read me like an open book.

Finally he smiled and i felt my nerves abate, "I can see the freakout and hear the gossip already." He said and we both burst into laughter, it felt good having Caleb here. It made things seem less stressful and with him i could be a normal teen for a short while.

There was no pressure to be the perfect Spencer Hastings around him like i was around everyone else, he didn't understand the pressure i had but he knew how much it exhausted me. While he was a genius himself when it came to electronics his mother didn't pressure him, she just let him do what he wanted.

At times i wished my parents could have been like that, i saw the way Caleb always smiled when he talked about his mom. He loved her and she him, i didn't know how that felt.

I was just an object to my parents, they loved Melissa i had no doubt about that. But i was less perfect than her, less worthy.

Even Melissa who was supposed to be someone i should have been close to didn't show me an ounce of affection, we were constantly competing with each other and finally i had given up because i knew i would never compare to her.

Sure my parents would encourage me time from time but as far as affection, well that was a foreign concept to me. The only people who were affectionate to me were Caleb, sometimes Emily and well now Aria.

It hurt i will admit that, i had read in storybooks that parents were supposed to be loving and supporting and i had longed so desperately for that sense of family. Until i realized stories were just stories and real life was a lot more brutal.

"Spencer you're thinking too hard again." Caleb's gentle voice broke me out of my depressing thoughts and i gave him a small smile, "Sorry." I said and he sighed, pulling me closer and stroking my hair.

"You're thinking about them again aren't you?" He asked, see..open book. I sighed and nodded, not wanting to say anything. It seems Caleb didn't know what to say either because all he did was hold me and i allowed it.

I knew deep down he wished he could do something but he couldn't, he knew i would never stand up to my parents and demand that i do what i wanted. He constantly tried to encourage me to do it but i was scared.

There was a part of me that still wanted to please them in hopes that they would finally show me some sort of love. I knew it was a fantasy but a girl could dream couldn't she?

**A/N oh i bet none of you saw that coming now did you? XD i realize this story might get confusing but it is supposed to be completely out of character and to be honest i loved the Spaleb scene in PLL so i had to do an awesome friendship between them. Anyways i know this is short but i am trying to post chapters as quick as possible and reviews really do inspire me, just saying xx**


	7. Hazel Colored Anger

**A/N hi! first off i would like to say thank you to everyone who left the amazing reviews and who favorited this story it means a lot to me. Second i would like to credit my friend Tara (or Sammykins as i call her XD) for helping me with this chapter, she gave me a lot of inspiration for it. Well that's it really, enjoy the chapter lovelies!**

I was laying on my bed studying my history book, Caleb had left about an hour ago promising that he would be back tomorrow so we could spend more time together. I flipped through another page when i heard my phone start to chime, stretching myself across the bed i grabbed my phone and answered it.

"Hello?" i said politely, at first there was no answer then Aria's voice came on, "Spencer?" She had a touch of panic in her voice and i immediately sat up straighter "Aria? What's wrong?" I said

"I know that this might be way out of line but…can you come pick me up please?" She sounded so desperate i knew there was no way i could resist her even if i wanted to. "Of course, where are you?"

I asked as i got up and grabbed my keys, keeping the phone pressed to my ear the entire time. "Uhm i'm out near Hollis College, Ali…she made me go out to a bar with her."

I sighed as i heard Alison's name, i should have known. "I'll be right there." She made a small sound of acknowledgment and i hung up the phone, racing out of the house quickly.

I was extremely worried about her, sure i hadn't know her for long but i felt protective of her. I did my best to avoid breaking any traffic laws but i will admit that i might have sped up more than a few times, i could see Hollis so i pulled over and took out my phone.

Dialing her number i waited for her to pick up, "Hello?" Aria said hesitantly, "Aria its me, where exactly are you?" I said and i could have sworn i heard her sigh in relief, "A bar called Snookers." Of course Alison would go there.

I rolled my eyes as i drove a few blocks more and stopped in front of the bar. I saw Aria leaning against the wall off to the corner, i stopped the car and jumped out. "Aria!" i said and she jumped in fright before she recognized me.

She ran over and i pulled her in for a hug, "Are you okay?" i asked and she nodded, "Yep all in one piece." I pulled back and looked her over, i had to make sure for myself. Satisfied that she was i finally asked, "What happened?" Aria sighed, pushing her hair away from her face and i could see a spark of anger in her usually warm eyes.

"Alison." She said her name with venom and i was a bit surprised at that, "She forces me to go to this bar with her and when we get there she completely ignores me! She made me hold her stuff while she went off and danced with every guy and she was drinking a lot. God i hate her sometimes, she's so selfish and never thinks about anyone but herself!"

I had to admit i was a bit proud of Aria right now, i hadn't seen this angry side of her it was kind of scary but i loved it. It was about time she found some courage, and i was determined to make it last.

"Tell her that." I said and Aria looked at me in confusion "What?" she said, i sighed and said "Tell Alison that. I can tell you've had enough of her pushing you around and i know you're scared that she'll do something to you but i promise she won't hurt you."

I could see that she was thinking about it but i knew she was still extremely hesitant so i gave her one extra little push by saying "Don't you want to be free of her? I mean name one time she was a decent friend and not for her own gain." Aria hesitated and i knew she was trying to think of a time.

"You can't can you? Aria she's not a true friend, i know that we're not even really close yet but you have to trust me. You'll never be free of her unless you tell her what you told me." I said and i saw the determination finally set in in those brilliant hazel eyes.

"You're right Spence, i'm going to tell her. Right now in fact, come on she's probably still inside." I smiled proudly and followed her inside of the bar, it was dim and smelled of cigarettes. I couldn't believe Alison would even want to come here.

Shaking my head i looked around for Alison as Aria did the same but since she was smaller even in her heels i had better luck. i finally spotted her, i leaned down and whispered in Aria's ear "Over by the pool table."

Aria nodded and walked over with me following right behind her, Alison didn't even notice us. She was too wrapped up in the guy she was with, i rolled my eyes as Aria tried to capture Alison's attention.

Neither seemed to notice her and my patience was wearing thin so finally i decided to take matters into my own hands. I grabbed the guy by the back of his jacket and yanked with all my strength, normally i wouldn't have succeeded but he was obviously drunk and came off without a hitch.

"She's underage, beat it." I said, despite being drunk he understood what i meant and he ran off without looking back. I really could care less about what they did but i knew it was the quickest way to get him out of there.

"What the hell did you do that for Spencer!" Alison said and i simply smiled before stepping back behind Aria. I gave her a little nudge and she cleared her throat before speaking, "Ali we need to talk." Alison rolled her eyes, "God Ar don't be a downer, i want to have fun." She said and grabbed her drink from the edge of the pool table.

I quickly grabbed it from her and gave it to the first person that walked by, Alison glared at me and i glared right back. "Alison we are talking now just shut up and listen. Please." Aria said and we both broke away from our glaring match to look at the normally timid girl in surprise.

I smiled at Aria and she returned it before turning her attention back to Alison, "Look Ali i've done my best to do everything that you've wanted and to be a good friend but you never return the favor. All you do is use me, and boss me around. I mean i didn't even want to come here but you forced me and then ditched me. A real friend wouldn't do that." She said and i was proud to see she held her head up high and didn't waver.

Alison snorted and flipped her hair over her shoulder, "Oh please Aria, without me you would have been nothing. You'll still be nothing, i made you. I gave you popularity and i'll crush it and you in a heartbeat don't forget that." She said and i saw the anger enter Aria's eyes again.

"Then do it Alison! Go ahead and freaking do it! I am tired of you bossing me around and threatening me with this false friendship, you have never been a good friend and you never will be. You're nothing but a selfish stuck up bitch!" Neither of us saw Alison move but the next thing i know i heard the crack of a slap and Aria's head whipped to the side.

"You ungrateful little bitch, are you forgetting what i know about you? I will ruin you Aria, you're going to regret saying any of what you said. I'll make sure of it." She said and turned to walk away but i grabbed her arm roughly and spun her around.

I was furious that she had hit Aria and i had seen the glitter of tears in Aria's eyes, "The only one going to regret anything is you Alison. She's right you are a bitch and you had no right to touch her." "Oh look, little bookworm Hastings finally grew a pair. What are you going to do to me huh? You're nobody just like her and that's all you'll ever be." Alison said and ripped her arm away.

Oh she was infuriating, i had never in my life wanted to hit someone as much as i wanted to hit Alison DiLaurentis in that moment. The only thing stopping me was Aria's hand on my arm and her gentle words, "Leave it Spencer, i said what i needed and we can leave. She can't do anything except threaten with the only thing she has."

I sighed and allowed Aria to pull me out of the bar, i glanced back and saw the vindictive look on Alison's face. It worried me but i dismissed it, she wouldn't do anything. All she did was threaten and i wasn't scared.

I made Aria stop before we got to the car so i could see how hard Ali had hit her, her cheek was red but i didn't think it would leave a lasting mark. Aria said nothing as we got in and started driving.

"So am i taking you home or to a friend's?" I asked after a few minutes, "Uhm..can we actually go to your house please? I don't feel like facing my parents, but if that's too weird or intrusive than its fine." She said and i could hear the timidness again,

I smiled a little and said, "Its fine, i promise." Aria nodded appreciatively and we drove in silence. I pulled up in front of my house and got out, Aria followed behind me silently as we walked inside the house and up to my room.

"I'll get you something to wear to sleep and you can just borrow something to get home in tomorrow." I said and pulled out a tank top and sleep shorts, i handed them to her and she mumbled a quick thank you before disappearing into the bathroom.

I took the opportunity to change into my own pajama's and sat down on the bed suddenly feeling exhausted. It was hard to believe that only this afternoon me and Aria had been shopping and to end up almost hitting Alison in a bar.

I laughed bitterly to myself and laid down with a soft groan, "Everything okay Spence?" Aria said and i nearly jumped off the bed, "Yeah, just tired." I said and turned to look at her. She nodded before setting her clothes down in a chair and walking over to the bed. "Uh where are the blankets so i can go set up on the couch?" She asked.

I looked at her and laughed, "You're not sleeping on the couch Aria, that would be rude. You can have the bed i'll go downstairs." I stood up and Aria crossed her arms and glared at me. "You are not sleeping on a couch in our own house." I looked at her and shook my head, "Aria don't argue with me, you are sleeping in the bed and that's final."

"No Spencer. I will sleep on the floor if you insist." She said and stuck her bottom lip out stubbornly. Okay who was this Aria and what happened to the timid girl i had met? I crossed my own arms and stared at her, "I will come up here every twenty minutes and out you back in bed if i have to." I said.

We stared at each other neither of us willing to give in. Finally Aria spoke "What if we both slept in the same bed? I have no problem with it, unless you like your own space." I bit my lip and thought about it for a minute before finally nodding in agreement.

I had never slept in the same bed with someone, not even Caleb but one night wouldn't kill me. We crawled into the bed and i quickly flipped off the light, i sat there wide awake and i thought Aria had fallen asleep but her soft voice startled me.

"Hey Spence?" She said, "Yeah?" i said. I felt her hand search through the bed and grasp mine, "Thank you for tonight. You're the friend i hoped to see in Ali but that she wasn't. I'm really glad we're friends now." She said softly and i smiled, squeezing her hand gently. "I'm really glad too." I said sincerely.

I closed my eyes and we fell asleep with our hands still firmly clasped together.


	8. Devious Plans and Delicious Muffins

I was in that hazy place between sleeping and waking when i heard the door to my room bang open and an overly cheerful voice yell, "I COME BEARING COFFEE! Oh crap i didn't know you had company."

I heard a thud and a small squeak that let me know Aria had fallen off the bed in surprise, i sat up and glared at Caleb who was still grinning,"Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock?" I said

"Nope!" He said in that same cheerful voice, i rolled my eyes and got out of bed. Aria was still on the floor and her eyes were darting between me and Caleb nervously. "Oh sorry, Aria this is my friend Caleb. He's harmless but kind of uh…empty-headed." I said "Hey!" Caleb said indignantly and i grinned.

Aria smiled at Caleb timidly and he went over to help her up, "Sorry for startling you." He said in what i called his charming voice, i rolled my eyes behind his back as Aria stuttered, "Its…its no problem at all!" I shook my head and reached for a cup of coffee. I took a sip and immediately spit it out.

"Ugh this is horrible did you make it yourself?" I asked and coughed, the taste of the rancid coffee still in my throat. Caleb scratched his head and shrugged, "Yeah i didn't think it was that bad." He said, "Not that bad? Yeah maybe if you're trying to kill someone it would work!" He glared at me and i rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing here this early anyways?" I said, "Well i said i'd be coming by today didn't i? I just never said at what time." He grinned at me again and i had the urge to smack it off him.

God he really could be irritating sometimes but i still loved him. Sometimes. i looked at Aria who was nervously picking at the tank top i had leant her. It was one of my smaller ones and fit tightly on her, i noticed Caleb couldn't stop staring at her and a tiny plan began to formulate in my head.

I smiled widely and said to Aria, "Hey Aria why don't you, me and Caleb all hang out today? You can borrow some clothes from me for the day." She looked at Caleb quickly then at me before nodding, "Sure sounds good." "Great!" I said and my smile widened even more.

Caleb shot me a questioning look but i ignored it and pretty much shoved him out of the room. "Go sit, do something we need to get ready." I said and slammed the door shut but i heard him mutter, "Girls. They're freaking crazy." I laughed and turned to Aria, "Go through and see what fits, i'm going to hop in the shower real quick."

She nodded and went to the closet as i grabbed a pair of dark skinny jeans from the drawer's and a black sheer overtop, black camisole and underwear. I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, i stepped into the warm water and felt it ease away my remaining grogginess and sore muscles. It didn't take me long to shower and change, i stepped out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later.

Aria was sitting on the bed slipping on her heels from last night, she had picked out a pair of jean shorts and a white short sleeved peasant blouse that had been a gift from Melissa. She smiled at me as she stood, her hair was tied back loosely and she looked adorable.

Perfect for what i had in mind today, "All set?" I asked and she nodded, i slipped on a pair of flats and grabbed my favorite necklace. I put it around my neck and linked arms with Aria.

We walked out of the room together and downstairs to find Caleb sitting on the couch fiddling with a phone i knew wasn't his, i motioned for Aria to stay silent and quietly tiptoed over to him and snatched the phone away. "No business today!" i said as Caleb turned around to glare at me.

I simply raised an eyebrow and held the phone behind my back, "Fine fine just give me the phone back!" He said and i grinned and handed it back, he rolled his eyes before shoving it into his bag.

"Business?" Aria asked and i laughed, "Caleb's a tech genius, he can crack any phone any computer and can pretty much rewire your entire system." I said and Caleb chuckled, "I'm not a genius. I'm just really good at phones and stuff." He said sheepishly and i rolled my eyes.

"He's a liar, he's a genius. End of discussion, now lets go i'm starving!" I said and they both laughed, we walked out to Caleb's car and got inside. "Whoa this car is awesome" Aria said excitedly, i had let her sit up front with him and i could see she was happy about it.

"Its nothing really, my mom lent it to me for the week is all." He said, i leaned forward and whispered to Aria "More like every other week." we both laughed and Caleb shot me a glare, i held my hands up innocently and sat back.

He drove us to the Brew and held the door open for us as we walked in, "Black coffee for the caffeine addict over there, and what do you want Aria?" Caleb asked, i scowled as he called me a caffeine addict but said nothing. "Uh a mocha, here i think i have some change." Aria said and reached into the pocket of the shorts but Caleb waved her away.

"Its on me." He said and grinned, Aria blushed and said "Thanks." I bit my lip to hold back my laugh and grabbed Aria to drag her over to one of the couches in the back as Caleb waited in line. We sat down and i decided to put my plan into action, "So what do you think of Caleb?" i asked.

Aria blushed again and looked over to make sure Caleb wasn't coming near before turning to me and saying "Well he's sweet, and kinda cute. I mean i just i don't know. I don't think he would be interested in someone like me." "Aria please, i saw the way he was looking at you. I've known him since i was a kid and he's been nothing but charming to you since this morning." I said.

We both glanced at Caleb who was making his was over with the drinks, i glanced at Aria and saw her blush was still firm in place. Hmm, first part of the plan was done. I knew they were both interested, now to get them to talk to each other freely.

"Here we go." Caleb said and set the coffees down in front of us along with a plate of muffins. I hadn't eaten since last night and was starving so i dived for one and Caleb laughed as i ate, "I don't think we should go near the muffins. She might bite someone's hand off." I shot a glare at him but sat back and ate my muffin, deciding to ignore him.

It was a delicious muffin sure but i wouldn't actually bite someone's hand, maybe slap their hand but not bite them. "So Aria, Spencer hasn't told me much about you. What do you like to do?" Caleb asked and Aria twirled her bracelets nervously, "Uh well i really love art, especially drawing." she said and i sat up a little straighter, huh i hadn't know that.

Then again i didn't really know much about her and for some reason i already felt close to her, "That's pretty cool, what about your family?" Caleb asked, "Well my mom works in an art gallery and i guess that's where i got the need to be an artist and my dad teaches at Hollis. My younger brother Mike plays lacrosse too." Aria said and i could see she was relaxing a bit.

I took that as my cue to set the next part in motion, "I totally forgot i have to go pick something up for my mom, but i'll catch up with you guys later okay?" I said, Caleb looked at me and he knew i was lying, he always knew damn him. "I drove here how are you picking it up?" He said and i thought quickly,

"I'll walk home and grab my car. Its not that far." He knew he had no other argument so he let it go with a simple nod, Aria however looked a bit nervous but not as much as before.

"Okay Spence, thanks again for last night." She said and smiled, i nodded and gave her a hug. "Call me later. Bye you guys." I said and made a quick escape outside. I stayed off to the side and peeked through the window however. I waited for at least five minutes before i saw them both laughing and at ease, god took them long enough.

I smiled to myself as my plan to get them together or at least get them to go on a date was well under way, i turned to walk home but ran straight into something. Or more like someone, i felt myself about to fly back and possibly land on the ground but firm hands caught my arms and steadied me.

"Do you ever watch where you walks Hastings?" oh no no no, anyone but her! I looked up and saw that damn smirk plastered on her face, her eyes were cold and mocking like usual and so was her tone of voice. I noticed her hands still gripped my arms and she seemed to notice it too because she immediately let go.

"I do, but i was a bit preoccupied. Sorry for running into you, i have to go." I said and quickly ducked around her and started walking. I heard her start to follow me but was determined to ignore her, she didn't follow too close but it was still close enough to irritate me.

I glanced back over my shoulder and saw her walking behind me still smirking, she wiggled her fingers at me and i scowled. I picked up my pace and was annoyed to hear her do the same, finally i stopped and turned to her. I had stopped so abruptly that she actually walked into me, this time i steadied her and she quickly shrugged off my hands.

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes i finally said, "Look why are you following me?!" She rolled her eyes and said "Oh please i am not following you, i am simply going in the same direction as you. Its a small town after all."

"Hanna cut the crap, you're following me now what do you want?" I said, i wasn't in the mood for her games today. She said nothing and simply kept smirking at me, ugh she was so infuriating. I huffed angrily and stomped away from her. She followed me. Why oh why did she have to choose me to torment? Wasn't there somebody else, anybody else. I mean come on!

She followed me all the way back to my house and i had done my best to ignore her. It helped that she hadn't talked, just simply followed. I went to go inside thinking maybe she'd stop being a creeper and just go away but she grabbed my arm.

I spun around ready to yell at her but she covered my mouth with her hand, "Lunch. Tomorrow." That's all she said. I narrowed my eyes and shook my head, she simply arched an eyebrow and repeated what she said, "Lunch. That's all, scouts honor." Somehow the words sounded like a lie but her eyes showed the slightest sincerity.

I figured it might be the only way to get rid of her and besides…one lunch wouldn't kill me. Right? Finally i shook my head but kept glaring at her, she smirked and removed her hand. She didn't say a word as she turned and walked down the street, leaving me staring after her in shock.

I had just agreed to have lunch tomorrow with Hanna Marin. Rosewood's bad girl and the only one who got under my skin, and my day was actually going good until all that. Dammit.

**A/N yay finally some Spanna action! and hmm Aria and Caleb getting flirty? oh man this is going so differently then from what i had originally planned ._. but i think its turning out well. don't forget to review! Bye lovelies**


	9. Shocking Confession and Icy Consequence

I was happy. No actually more like i was ecstatic, Aria had called me last night and told me all about how Caleb was sweet, and funny, and he listened to her. She kept going on and on and as much as i was excited i admit i might have tuned out at a certain point, but i snapped back to attention when she told me he asked her out on a date.

After we had gotten off the phone i had blown Caleb's phone up with texts and the little jerk answered me back with a simple "Mind your own business brainiac. How were those errands by the way?" Have i mentioned that he's infuriating?

Oh well, at least my brilliant plan had worked so it was safe to say i was in a cheerful mood at school. Not even the upcoming lunch with Hanna dimmed my spirit. I practically skipped to my locker and said a cheerful "Hello" to Emily, she looked at me and laughed a bit,

"What's got you in such a good mood?" She asked and i grinned."Oh nothing, just my brilliant mind being..brilliant!" She shook her head and said "Care to explain?" I pulled out my books as i told Emily all that had happened starting from the night i picked Aria up.

"Wow..you've had an interesting few days." Emily said with a surprised smile lighting her features, "That's an understatement. I'm so proud of Aria though, i mean i honestly didn't think she had the courage to stand up to Alison."

"That makes two of us but its about time someone did. As for Hanna i can't wait to see how that will go down, you two seem to hate each other." I rolled my eyes and said, "She just irritates me and confuses me. But its one lunch, i'll survive."

"Hopefully." Emily said and we both burst into laughter which was cut short as Aria ran up to us and i could see tears in her eyes. "Aria what's wrong?" I asked and she shook her head, launching her tiny body at me and i hugged her tightly.

I could see Emily looking at us worriedly and i pulled back to look at Aria, "Aria please tell me what happened." I said gently and Aria wiped her tears away but they kept coming regardless. "Alison. She…she…oh god Spencer my life is over." She sobbed out and i felt a burst of fury, Alison god that bitch never knew when to quit.

I saw even Emily tense up a bit at the mention of Alison and she said to Aria, "I'm sure whatever she did wasn't that bad." Aria shook her head and said, "It is, trust me..it is."

I sighed and said, "Aria just tell us please, maybe we can fix it somehow." Aria looked at us both before taking a deep breath and saying, "Well..Alison knew one of my secrets and she told me she would never tell anyone as long as i did what she wanted. She held it over my head constantly and i hated it. Now she's told and the whole school knows!"

Oh that was it, when i saw Alison she was going down. I mean i knew she was evil but to do that to a friend it took a really mean cruel selfish person to do that. "Aria..what was the secret?" Emily asked.

Aria bit her lip and looked down, "I used to have a bit of an addiction. It wasn't anything horrible but i would take pills to relieve stress and help me sleep when my parents would argue or when something else happened. I got addicted but i kicked it right before moving back, Alison found out because i kept the pills despite not using them."

Shocked couldn't even begin to describe my feelings. Aria used to be a drug addict? Wow that just proved how little i really knew the girl. But despite it all Alison had no right to spill a secret like that, Emily surprised me even more as she moved forward and hugged Aria's smaller body to hers. "Oh Aria i am so sorry, no one should have to go through that." Aria must have been surprised as well because she didn't immediately hug her back but finally she did.

Okay yeah i got caught up in the sweet moment and threw my arms around them both, oh god what was happening to me? I never hugged people this much, oh well at least it felt nice and warm unlike the few rare cold hugs i got from my parents. We stood like that for a few minutes before a cold voice interrupted us.

"Well isn't this nice, i didn't know you were a lesbian as well Aria. But then again with a druggie like you i guess we really can expect anything." I pulled away and glared at Alison, she was surrounded by a few girls i didn't recognize nor cared about. "Shut up up Alison, its called being a friend something you know nothing about." I said, she laughed and fixed a cold stare on me.

"Friends? You don't have any friends Spencer, you're nothing but a freak teacher's pet who will probably be a virgin until your fifty cause no guy would ever want to touch you." She said. Okay that hurt a bit but the hurt only fueled my anger and resentment, "At least i don't make out with every guy i see. You make Hanna look like a sweet little saint!" I shot back at her and was stunned by my own words.

I barely saw the flash of anger in her face before i was slammed back into my locker roughly and Alison was in my face whispering, "Listen to me freak, you are nothing here. Your parents might have money and be big lawyers but here…i run the show. So you should learn to keep that mouth of yours shut outside of class or i will make you regret it. Understood?"

My shoulders were aching from being slammed into the hard metal but i simply said nothing, i didn't need to because the next second Alison was ripped away from me and Emily stood in front of me protectively, "Back off DiLaurentis." She said, Emily easily towered over Alison and her body was toned from swimming so i knew that Alison wouldn't want to get into it with Emily.

Not that Emily would willingly get physical but if it came to it she would because she was fiercely defensive of her friends, rolling her eyes and shooting one last glare at us all Alison turned and walked away with her cronies following behind her.

I rubbed my shoulders and nodded my thanks to Em, she smiled at me and Aria came closer, "You okay Spence?" She asked and i nodded. I glanced down at my watch and saw that in all the chaos we had missed most of first period and i sighed. Great could the day get any worse?

"Come on lets get to class and Aria we are not going to let you face this alone okay? You have real friends now and we'll get through these rumors." I said and Emily nodded in agreement, i saw tears well up in Aria's eyes again and she hugged us both. I winced a little but carefully hid it and hugged her back.

"Okay now lets get to class before we get detention or worse." I said and both girls laughed, "There's the Spencer we know and love." Emily said and i chuckled as we headed to our respective classes.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around my shoulder was still aching and i had peeked at it in the bathroom, bruises were starting to cover it but there was nothing i could do. Thank god i didn't have field hockey today, i sat down at the table Emily and Aria were already sitting at and groaned. "Is everything okay Spencer?" Aria asked and i looked up to see concern on her face.

I nodded and sighed, it had been a long day. Whispers had flown around school about Aria but me or Em had almost always been with her so we had made sure she kept her head held high and didn't show how much this was truly affecting her. I felt so proud of her but at the same time i was still exhausted.

I laid my head back down on my arms and closed my eyes, i was jolted back up as a lunch tray slammed down forcefully next to me and i found myself looking into icy orbs full of anger. "Did you forget about our plans Hastings? Because you know if you did i could let you go back to sleep." The words were supposed to sound concerned i'm sure but instead they were full of scorn.

Great just what i needed, alright so i had forgotten about lunch with Hanna but can you blame me? Well she seemed able to if the look in her eyes was anything, i sighed and said, "I'm sorry but i had a lot on my mind today. You're more than welcome to join us here however." I saw her eyes dart to Emily and Aria, resting on Aria for a second longer before turning back to me and giving a curt nod.

She sat down next to me stiffly and i wondered exactly why she had asked for this. Emily and Aria tried to make conversation but eventually it died out and we all sat in awkward and strained silence, i glanced at Hanna and her mouth was set in a hard line, her eyes had lost some of the ice but still remained emotionless and cool, her hair was down in curls and if it wasn't for the expression on her face it would make her seem sweet and innocent.

I sat up and cringed as my shoulder protested, i saw Hanna's eyes flicker over to me and thought i saw the faintest glint of concern before the ice was back and she said in her customary mocking voice, "Something the matter Hastings?" I narrowed my eyes and shook my head, she shrugged and smirked at me before settling back in her chair.

"Well uh i need to go over some notes before class and Aria promised to help me so we'll catch you in class Spence?" Emily said and i nodded, smiling at them both. They smiled back and gave Hanna a nervous nod before disappearing.

Great i was stuck alone with the ice queen, yay for me. I was thinking of ways to quickly get out of there when Hanna's voice interrupted my thoughts, "You can go Hastings, lunch is almost over anyways." my eyes snapped to hers in shock but she wasn't looking at me, instead she was staring out the far window and i couldn't see the look on her face.

Not wanting to push my luck, i grabbed my bag and started to leave. I stopped at the door and looked back at her, she was still sitting there. Her body was relaxed for once, her eyes were still icy but seemed more vulnerable in a way. I found myself frozen there, watching her and wondering who she was and why she was so intent on me.

I didn't want to know her, she irritated me, infuriated me, got under my skin and was everything i shouldn't associate with._ But isn't that exactly what Aria is too?_ A little voice whispered in my head, i shook my head. It wasn't the same, Aria was different than Hanna. So what if she had a drug problem before? She didn't anymore, now she was the lovable, timid girl who desperately needed real friendship.

_What if Hanna's the same?_ That same stupid voice said, i didn't have time to dwell on it as the bell rang. With one last glance i left the cafeteria leaving Hanna still sitting there staring out that window at god knows what.


	10. Clouded Senses

I was at home lounging on the couch with a bag of ice on my shoulders when the doorbell rang, i was sorely tempted to ignore it but it rang again. And again. Damn it all to hell, i sat up wincing slightly and made my way over to the door. I jerked it open and slammed it shut immediately.

"Not a very pleasant greeting Hastings!" Hanna's voice said through the door, i cursed under my breath and opened the door again. She was standing there smirking at me, she had changed out of her clothes from school and was now wearing a pair of dark skintight jeans, a deep purple crop top and her black leather jacket.

Her hair was still curled but looked slightly messy, her eyes were lined in black which made them stand out brightly. Mentally berating myself for staring at her i finally spoke, "What are you doing here?" It seems my manners disappeared whenever she was around, i didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad one.

"I was in the neighborhood." Hanna said simply and i scoffed, "So you just decided to pop in and what? Annoy me some more?" I said and she laughed. "Something like that. Now move aside toothpick." She said and brushed past me into the house.

I clenched my teeth at the stupid nickname and shut the door with a little more force than necessary, "I didn't invite you in, but by all means make yourself at home!" I said sarcastically and she smirked at me again, "Don't mind if i do." She settled herself on the couch, crossing her legs and picking up the book i had been reading. "History really? Do you have a life Hastings?" She asked and tossed the book on the table.

I rolled my eyes but didn't bother replying, instead i reached down on the table and grabbed the ice pack from where i had thrown it. Hanna grabbed my wrist suddenly and pulled me down close to her, "What happened to your shoulder?" She said quietly, i had forgotten i was wearing a tank top that clearly showed the bruising from today.

But i wasn't focused on that, i was focused on the fact that my face was inches apart from Hanna's. She smelled like peppermint and berries, an odd combination but it seemed to work for her. "Cat got your tongue Hastings?" Hanna said and i abruptly jerked away from her.

Once i was away from that scent my sense came back to me and i took a few steps away before saying, "Nothing, i got into a fight with Alison and she slammed me into a locker. No big deal." I saw a flash of anger in her eyes as she spoke, "No big deal? Your shoulder is all bruised up and i saw the way you were cringing today at lunch."

"It doesn't matter okay? Alison is a bully and everyone knows it, its just a bruise. It will fade." I said and stormed into the kitchen, i jerked open the freezer and threw the ice pack inside. Okay maybe i was being a bit moody but it was her fault. She had to show up and disrupt my peaceful afternoon, god why couldn't she just leave me alone? I slammed the freezer shut and leaned my head against it.

"Do you have anger issues?" I heard her say behind me and mentally counted to ten before answering, "No." She snorted but said nothing else, instead i felt her fingers lightly touch my bruised shoulder and flinched. They were cold and sent shivers down my back "Stop." I said, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. "Does it hurt?" She asked, her fingers still tracing the bruise.

"What do you think?" I snapped and jerked away from her, turning around and grabbing her wrist. She glared at me and i glared right back. "I asked you to stop." I said and she tilted her head to the side, "I don't like to listen." She said and i rolled my eyes. "Clearly." I realized i was still holding her wrist and immediately let go.

However Hanna didn't seem content to let it go, she closed the distance between us and had me trapped against the fridge. Her arms caged me in and i glared at her, "Move. Now." I said, she shook her head and smirked, "Does me being this close bother you?" she said.

"Yes. I happen to like my personal space and right now you're invading it, so please..move." I said as calmly as i could. She was so close, the smell of peppermint was clouding my sense and i was desperately struggling to keep my focus on getting Hanna away from me.

Her smirk widened and she leaned in closer to my face until there was just an inch between us, "Make me." She whispered, i closed my eyes and allowed instinct and anger to guide me. I grabbed her hips roughly and shoved her back. I caught her by surprise so she stumbled back easily, i took the opportunity to get as far from her as i could.

I was breathing heavily and trying to regain my calm, i could see out of the corner of my eye that she was staring at me but i didn't care. "Get out. Now." I said quietly and for a moment i thought she was going to argue but then she walked to the back door and left. I released a breath i hadn't even realized i was holding and leaned my head agains the tile of the kitchen counter.

She was gone but her presence still lingered, her scent still filled my senses and i could still feel the warmth from her body so close to mine. Hanna Marin was bad, i knew that. She was toying with me, maybe it was for a game, maybe she was bored. I didn't know, i didn't care. I was determined to end it, i wouldn't speak to her. Wouldn't acknowledge her, i'd pretend as if she never existed. It would be easy.

I barely heard the front door open before Melissa walked into the kitchen and stared at me, "What's wrong with you?" She asked, i glanced up at her and said. "Like you care." It was true, she didn't. Melissa cared for no one but herself just like my parents. She rolled her eyes at me and said nothing more thankfully.

I walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me so i wouldn't be disturbed. I laid there on my bed for hours staring at the ceiling, wondering how my life could go from simple and boring to the chaotic mess it had turned into.

Sure i had gained Aria as a friend and i didn't regret it, but now i had Alison hounding me and Hanna playing mind games. There was nothing to do about it though except ignore it and try to focus on what i needed to.

But yet as i fell asleep that night, i dreamed of arctic eyes and peppermint and berries.

**A/N okay this chapter is a bit shorter i realize that but i am working on updating quicker than normal so that might mean a few smaller chapters. But i promise they'll be worth it, now we're finally seeing more Spanna action :D oh don't worry i haven't forgotten about Caleb and Aria, they might make an appearance very soon as well as a few other guests ;) ah but in order to see all that you have to review, reviews=happy author which equals more chapters. tata lovelies**


	11. Rips, Roses, and Revelations

**A/N i am banging out these chapters like nothing ._. i just wanted to say thank you for all the amazing reviews XD and credit must go to PixieD14 for helping with the title of this chapter and with one other part of this chapter, and of course her hilarious review :D now enjoy the chapter, bye lovelies! **

My plan to avoid Hanna lasted for two full days. In those days i solely focused on my school work, field hockey and keeping the rumors about Aria under wraps and making sure she was staying strong. I actually thought she was going to start leaving me alone again, god how wrong i was.

I was standing with Aria at her locker while she gathered her things so i could take her home and help her prepare for her date with Caleb tonight, everything was going fine until someone passed by and muttered, "Druggie!" my gaze snapped to who it was and saw Mona Vanderwaal smiling smugly at us.

She was another popular pretty girl follower of Alison's, she looked like a carbon copy of Alison right down to the designer shoes. "Care to repeat that Mona?" I said with false nicety, she looked me up and down and her smile widened, "Gladly Spence! i said, "druggie" cause you know thats exactly what your best friend is." She said in a nasty voice. I felt Aria tense up next to me and my eyes narrowed.

"No she isn't Mona, you shouldn't listen to everything you hear especially when it comes to Alison." I said and she laughed, it chilled me because it sounded almost exactly like Alison's. I opened my mouth to say something but a cold voice beat me to it, "Jeez Vanderwaal, if it weren't for the dark hair i would have thought Alison was standing right here." Mona whirled around and saw Hanna standing behind her.

She had a cold smirk on her face and her eyes were like glaciers, I saw Mona shrink back a little as she looked at her and said "Th..thank you." Hanna laughed cruelly and said, "It wasn't a compliment you brainless little twit, now get lost before i decide to chop off all that pretty hair of yours." Mona's eyes widened in fear and she nervously touched hair.

"Oh and one more thing, if i ever hear you saying something like what i heard before i'll follow through on that promise." Hanna's gaze didn't waver as Mona nervously ran off as fast as she could in her six inch heels. Even though i was supposed to be avoiding Hanna i couldn't help but laugh, her eyes flickered over to me and she shot me a small smirk before turning and walking off without another word.

"Wow. Did Hanna Marin just stand up for me? Pinch because i must be dreaming." Aria said and looked at me with an expression of shock, i grinned and pinched her arm. "Ow! I didn't mean actually pinch me!" She said and rubbed her arm, i laughed and said "Well then be careful of what you say and yes, Hanna Marin just defended you."

Aria shook her head and shut her locker, "Okay lets go before this day gets any weirder." I laughed and linked arms with her as we walked to the car.

* * *

"Ugh i have nothing to wear!" Aria said and face planted on the bed, we had been going through her closet for the last hour and she had repeated that same phrase at least forty times. I was about to kill her, "Aria i'm sure there is something in there, besides Caleb is not picky about clothes. He'll like you in whatever you choose." I said as calmly as i could, she sighed and cuddled her pillow closer.

"At this rate i should just go in my underwear." She said and i muttered under my breath, "Oh i bet he'd love that." Rolling my eyes, i stood up and walked over to her closet determined to find her something. Okay i might not have had as much fashion sense as Aria but dammit i knew what looked cute and what didn't!

Or at least i thought i did until i saw some of the quirky clothing Aria had, i really had no idea where to start. Finally i decided to dive in headfirst and pray to god that i could find something, i started sifting through clothes and shook my head at some of the stuff i saw.

Finally…after at least half an hour of searching i found exactly what i was looking for. The red dress, the dress that had made me have a mini panic attack the day Aria had bought it and asked me to help her with it. I walked out of the closet and dropped the dress on the bed, Aria sat up and looked at it. "Stop moping and go get dressed because you only have about forty minutes before Caleb arrives." I said and her eyes widened.

She leapt out of bed, grabbed the dress and made a mad dash for the bathroom. I laughed and collapsed on the bed as i waited for her, hmm after making sure Aria didn't decided to hide under her bed and ditch Caleb i decided i would go home, curl up with a book and relax. I deserved it after everything that had happened and i would murder anyone who tried to interrupt it.

My musings were cut short as i heard the doorbell ring and i glanced at the clock, right on time. God that boy was never on time when it came to plans with me, oh he was so getting an earful after this. "Oh god he's here, Spence i'm not ready yet!" Aria shouted through the door.

"No worries i'll handle it, just hurry it up." I said and walked downstairs to open the door. "Hey brainiac." Caleb said affectionately and gave me a hug which i returned, "Hey tech head, Aria's almost ready." I said and shut the door behind him.

"No rush." He said and ran a hand through his hair nervously, i looked at him and frowned. "Did you cut your hair?!" I demanded and he looked at me nervously, "Uh…maybe." He said and i widened my eyes, "After how long of begging you cut it for a girl?!" I threw up my hands in frustration and stomped away. Just proves how much guys will change for a girl they like.

First he's on time, second he cuts his hair, what's next no more ripped jeans? Good god the world was going insane. "Girls…i will never understand them and their freakish overreactions." I heard him say, "I HEARD THAT CALEB JOSEPH RIVERS!" I shouted and glanced back to see him cringe as i used his full name.

Hmpf serves him right, i leaned against the wall and crossed my arms as we waited for Aria to come down. We only waited a few minutes before she came downstairs. I straightened up and saw Caleb do the same. Wow..Aria was stunning when she was all dressed up.

The dress was the same as i remembered it the red color suiting her perfectly and hugging her body in all the right places, her hair was pinned up with a few curls framing her face, she had on a short black jacket and black heels. Her makeup was simple, accentuating her features and making her look all the more gorgeous. I smiled at her brightly and saw Caleb couldn't stop staring at her.

"Wow..you look…wow." He said and i suppressed a laugh as Aria blushed, "Thank you, you look very nice as well." She said and decided to make my exit. I winked at Aria and mouthed good luck as i slipped out the door.

I got into my car and drove home, i pulled up and saw someone sitting on the porch steps. I got out of the car and walked over slowly, i quickly recognized Emily and smiled "Hey." I said, she stood upd and smiled "Hi, i hope you don't mind me just coming over but i was bored and figured i might as well come here." She said, i put on a mock hurt face and said "Glad to know you only use me for my amazing sense of humor!"

We laughed as i opened the door and walked inside, "Make yourself at home, are you hungry?" I asked as Emily took off her jacket and sat down on the couch, "No thanks i ate before i came over." she said and i nodded, setting my bag down and sitting next to her.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked and she thought about it before answering, "Hmm lets just watch a movie, we haven't done that in a while." I smiled because it was true, we hadn't sat down and hung out together in a long time and i was glad she had come over.

"Okay you pick the movie, i'll make us some popcorn." I said and got up, walking to the kitchen and popping in a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I poured two glasses of soda as i waited and carefully juggled all three things as i walked back into the living room. Emily got up and helped me, we settled down on the couch with the bowl of popcorn resting between us.

"So what did you pick?" I asked, "Friends with Benefits." She said and i laughed, "Em that's like the third you've watched it." she blushed and rolled her eyes, "I like it okay!" She defended and i shook my head as we started to watch the movie.

Emily leaned her head on my shoulder at some point and i felt completely relaxed, it was nice hanging out with her. It felt simple and easy, something i was extremely grateful for right now. Emily and I might not have been as close as Caleb and I but we still had a strong friendship, she understood the pressures my parents put on me because she had the same feeling with her parents.

Halfway through the movie Emily sat up and paused it, i looked at her and said, "What's wrong Em?" she shook her head and sighed "Spence…i…well…can i ask you something?" She said nervously and i nodded, "Of course, ask me anything." i said reassuringly, "Well..what would you do if you found out one of your friends was…gay?" She asked and my eyebrows rose in confusion,

"Uh well i would still treat them the same. It doesn't matter if they're gay or straight, they're still the same person." I said, wondering where this was going. Emily looked a little relieved and my confusion rose even more, "Good…Spence…i think…i'm gay." My mind didn't have time to process what she said because in the next second Emily kissed me.


	12. Confrontations

**A/N i was literally going out of my mind trying to write this chapter, i'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out. Don't forget to review and let me know what you think! xx**

I sat there frozen in shock as one of my best friends kissed me, and not just any best friend…but a girl. I had no idea what to do, i wanted to pull away but my body refused to move, my mind was screaming at me that this was wrong. Screaming at me to pull away and just run, but dammit i couldn't and i had no idea why.

Finally Emily pulled away and looked at me with wide eyes, "Spence…i'm so sorry. I didn't mean…i wasn't thinking. Oh god." She said and got up quickly, I was still sitting on the couch in shock. My mind for once was just one big blank _thing_, I was barely aware of Emily scrambling around and gathering her jacket and bag.

"I'll just go…bye Spencer." She said quietly and escaped out the door as my mind finally caught up, "Emily wait!" I said about a second too late as the door slammed shut. I sighed and rubbed my head, everything had been going perfect and then that. What was i going to do? A part of me knew i should go after Emily and tell her that it was okay, but it wasn't.

I had nothing against her if she was gay but that kiss…that kiss had made me shut down and for once i was faced with a problem that i couldn't solve. i hung my head in my hands and tugged at my hair in frustration, my lips were still tingling and my mind kept replaying what Emily said before she kissed me.

I couldn't stay in this house, i needed to clear my head and think. I got up and left the house, not bothering to grab my jacket or my phone. I started walking in no particular direction, the cold night air nipped at my skin but it helped clear my head and i was grateful for it.

I kept my head down as i walked and frowned as i thought of what to do, i knew i wouldn't be able to ignore what happened but at the same time i didn't want to confront it either. I sighed as i felt a headache start to come on and walked a little faster. Maybe tomorrow i would try and talk to her about it, yeah that's what i would do. Wait until tomorrow to talk about it, right excellent idea. At least i hoped it was.

"Penny for your thoughts Hastings?" A voice said from behind me, i froze and turned around slowly. Great just what i needed, Hanna. She was smirking at me like always but it seemed a little…duller than normal. Her hair was messed up slightly, her makeup still looked perfect but her dress was a little disheveled, as if it had been thrown on in a rush.

I frowned at her and she walked closer, "What are you doing wandering around out here anyways?" She asked and i shook my head, "Needed some air." I said, she nodded and said "Same here, we'll walk together." I rolled my eyes but said nothing as we started walking. Sure i didn't want to be in her company but i wasn't in the mood to argue about it either.

I finally stopped at an empty corner and sat down on the curb, Hanna sat down beside me and we sat there in silence for a bit. Huh i think this was the most comfortable i had ever felt around Hanna, this day just kept getting weirder and weirder.

Hanna pulled a cigarette out of her jacket and lit it up, i wrinkled my nose but didn't say anything. She smirked at me again but i noticed it was still somewhat dull, i shivered as the wind whipped around us. Hanna glanced at me and shrugged out of her jacket, silently handing it to me. I looked at it, tempted to say no but i was cold so i took it and slid it on. It was warm and smelled like her, exactly what i needed. Not.

"What are you doing wandering around?" I asked, she looked over at me her eyebrow raised slightly and shrugged. "Needed some air." I rolled my eyes at the response as she chuckled and took a drag of her cigarette, "Emily kissed me." I blurted out and she choked and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Say that again Hastings." She said between coughs, i blushed furiously and mentally yelled at myself for saying that. I had no freaking idea why i had done it, it just sort of…came out. Damn, damn, damn!

No way out of it now, "Emily…kissed me. After telling me she might be gay." I said slowly, Hanna looked shocked. That was something i hadn't seen before, then she laughed.

"Damn..Hastings getting it on with a girl. Never would have thought i'd see the day." She said, i narrowed my eyes and said through clenched teeth, "I wasn't getting it on with a girl! She kissed me, i didn't do anything." "Hmm, well why don't you tell me exactly what happened. Oh and here, you might need this." She said and handed me her cigarette, i took it and was hesitant, Hanna rolled her eyes and said, "It won't kill you, but it'll take the edge off. Trust me."

I sighed and took a drag, ugh the taste was horrible but it did help a bit. I started telling her what happened when Emily came over to when i started walking around as we shared the cigarette, she stayed silent throughout it all and finally when i was done she said, "Huh, well how did you feel when she kissed you?" "Well i was in shock of course, i wasn't expecting it. Besides..i'm not gay." I said.

Hanna chuckled and stubbed out the cigarette, "You don't have to be gay to like girls Hastings." She said and i sighed, "I told you my reason for being out here, tell me yours." I said and she stared at me coldly, "Thats not any of your business." She said and glanced at her watch, "Its late. You should get home Hastings, see you at school." She got up and walked off, leaving me there stunned and confused.

I realized i still had her jacket but was too tired to chase after her so decided to give it back to her tomorrow. I got up and started home, hugging the jacket close to me as the cold increased. The house was exactly as i had left it and i dragged myself up to my room, i shrugged off the jacket and stripped down to my shirt and underwear.

I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep within minutes.

* * *

School was exhausting the next day, i spent most of my time carefully avoiding Emily even though i had decided to talk to her and the other time looking for Hanna since i had her jacket shoved in my bag. Of course its my luck that the one day i actually need to see her she's not around, i was currently sitting in the courtyard trying to decide how to approach Emily.

I mean i couldn't just walk up and say, "Hey you kissed me, i don't like you like that but lets pretend it never happened and go back to being best friends." Aha no. Maybe in some type of sub reality it would work but not here.

"You're going to get frown lines if you think any harder." My head snapped up and i stared at Emily, she was standing in front of me smiling a little but i could see the nervousness in her posture. "I don't think its possible for us Hastings to get frown lines." I said and she laughed, "You're probably right." She said and sat down on the bench next to me.

"About last night." "We need to talk." We said at the same time and laughed a little, "You start first." I said and she sighed, "Okay well…what i told you last night was true. I've denied it for a while but i can't anymore, as for what happened after. Spence i know you're not like that and it was a spur of the moment thing." She said and i took her hand, "Em i am so proud of you for telling me and for accepting it. As for the kiss…don't worry about it okay?" I said and she smiled at me.

"Now i just need to tell my parents which i am so not looking forward to. But we're okay right Spence?" She asked, "We'll always be okay Em, i promise." I said and we hugged, god i was so glad that had gone over easily and that me and Emily were okay.

I really did not want to imagine what would have happened if things hadn't been this easy. The bell rang for class and Emily and I walked together to it, we met up with Aria outside the doors and all three of us took our seats. I tapped my pencil against my notebook as the teacher talked, i felt my phone buzz and opened it under my desk. It was a text from Aria, "Come over later? I have so much to tell you!"

I glanced up making sure the teacher wasn't paying attention and typed back a quick ok before placing my phone in my bag. When class ended i walk with Aria to the parking lot as Emily headed off to swim practice, "Hey so can i come over after? I need something i have to do real quick." i said, "Sure! Come over whenever." She said with a smile, we headed to our separate cars and i sighed as i got in mine.

I was not keeping that damn jacket for another day, i was returning it even if it meant leaving it on the doorstep. I vaguely knew where Hanna lived because come on, it was a small town. I pulled up in front of her house and got out, it was a nice looking house something i hadn't been expecting.

I walked up to the door and knocked, i waited for a few minutes before the door opened to reveal a tall woman with long dark red hair and surprisingly warm blue eyes standing there in a business dress. "Can i help you?" She asked politely, "Uh yeah, i'm looking for Hanna. Is she here?" i asked, "Yes, she's upstairs in her room. She's been feeling a little under the weather all day though, you're Veronica Hastings daughter aren't you?"

She said, "Yeah i'm Spencer." I replied, she smiled at me "I'm Ashley, i've met your mother a few times. Please come in." Ashley said and stepped back, i walked into the house and glanced around. The inside of the house was just as nice and seemed strangely comforting. "Hanna's room is the second one, you can go on up." Ashley said from behind me. I smiled in thanks and made my way upstairs.

I knocked on Hanna's door and waited for a response, when i didn't get one i quietly opened the door and stepping inside. The room was definitely not what i was expecting, it was so…girlish and so unHanna like. The walls were white with pink feathers decorating it, her table was white, her chair pink and the bed she was sleeping on from what i could see was a mix of pinks, purples and whites.

Huh who would have thought that badass Hanna had such a girly room, i tiptoed over to her chair and quietly took out her jacket and placed it on the chair. I looked at Hanna and she seemed so relaxed, i had never seen her like that before. She looked so young when she was sleeping, it was such a difference from seeing her at school.

I suddenly felt like i was invading something person and made my way over to the door as quickly and quietly as i could, "Sneaking into someone's room, hmm wouldn't have pegged you for the kind Hastings." I froze and turned around. Hanna was sitting up in bed smirking at me sleepily, i gulped and said "I was just returning your jacket and besides your mom let me in."

She got out of bed and walked over to me slowly, she was wearing a pair of extremely short shorts and a tight tank top, "Figured as much, and thanks for returning the jacket. Although i'm sure it could have waited until tomorrow." She said as she walked closer and closer.

"I uh…i just wanted to get it back to you as soon as possible." i said and backed up, she smirked again and walked even closer until my back was pressed against the door and she was inches apart from me. "How very…sweet of you Hastings." She said and chuckled, my heart was racing and i was trapped with no way out. "Hanna please back up, i need to go meet Aria." I said.

Her eyes darkened and i absently realized she had her mother's eyes, "Go then, wouldn't want to keep you from precious Aria." She said with a sneer and backed away, i had no idea why she was acting like that but i didn't stop to think about it. I quickly opened the door and raced downstairs.

"Bye Mrs. Marin." I said as i ran out the door to my car. I leaned against my car and took a big breath of air, god why did Hanna affect me so much? I glanced up at the house and noticed Hanna standing at her window staring down at me.

We locked eyes and i felt myself shiver, i broke the contact and got inside my car. I started it and and started driving to Aria's, trying to ignore the way those eyes had watched me. Almost like she could see all the way into me.


	13. No Longer Controlled

I was sitting on Aria's bed staring up at her ceiling and paying only slight attention as she was talking about her date with Caleb. I knew i should have been paying more attention but my mind was still focused on Hanna.

"And then he left me on the side of the road with a roll of quarters to call a cab home." That finally grabbed my attention and i looked at Aria, "HE DID WHAT?" I shouted and she laughed,

"Sorry, i wanted to see if you were paying attention to me." She said and i rolled my eyes, "Of course i was Aria." "Okay then where did he take me?" She said and smirked at me, "Uh..." I tried to think and she shook her head,

"I knew it, whats wrong Spence? You've been weird since you came over." She asked and looked at me, i sighed and said "Its nothing Aria." She pouted and laid beside me as close as she could.

"Come on Spence, tell me please?" She said and kept pouting, i looked at the way her lip stuck out adorably and felt my resolve crumbling."Fine..but not a word of any of this leaves this woman okay?" I said and she nodded eagerly.

So i told her everything that had happened with Emily and with Hanna, i even told her about the weird feelings Hanna gave me. Aria stayed silent through it all and didn't speak for a few minutes, "Maybe you like her." She said suddenly and i stared at her,

"Not likely, she gets under my skin and always teases me." I said, she laughed and said "Well you know what they say, boys pull girls hair when they like them. Its no different for girls and girls."

"Aria i don't like girls…like that. I mean i freaked out when Em kissed me." I said calmly, Aria rolled her eyes and said "That's because Emily is like your best friend, practically sister. You won't know unless you kiss someone not as close."

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" I asked, "Yeah a couple of them when i was experimenting. I wouldn't date a girl but i'm not above having fun with them if i feel like it." Aria said, she made it sound so nonchalant. God why were we even having this conversation right now?

My head was reeling from it all, i mean…i couldn't like girls. My parents would probably send me off to a freaking convent, i sighed and Aria looked at me.

"Look the only way you'll know is if you kiss a girl." She said, "I am not kissing Hanna Marin!" I said forcefully, "You don't have to, yet at least. I could kiss you." I bolted upright and stared down at her in shock.

"Aria…you're dating my best friend. And you're my friend. No it'd be weird." I said, "First, me and him aren't dating just yet, second, it won't be weird. Its just to see if its true."

I bit my lip, i mean a part of me did want to find out if those strange feelings Hanna gave me were something more but could i really do that to Caleb?

"I..i don't know." I finally said. Aria rolled her eyes, "Oh for God's sake." She said and sat up, pulling me closer and crushing her lips to mine. I sat there frozen in shock as i got kissed by a girl for the second time in two days.

This time however my mind caught up quicker and i slowly returned the kiss, i wasn't inexperienced with kissing but somehow this was different.

This kiss was softer, gentler than any other i had experienced before. It was…okay i won't lie, it was pretty amazing. Aria pulled away and smiled. "See? It wasn't that hard. Now what did you feel?" She said.

I was still a bit spaced out but i managed to answer with a simple, "Great." She laughed, "So chances are you're at least bisexual which isn't a bad thing." Aria said and laid down again, i looked down at my friend and shook my head.

I couldn't believe that all that had just happened, talk about friendship with no limitations. I laid down beside her and said "Well…I'd say that this just took our friendship to a whole new level." We both laughed and Aria intertwined our fingers.

"Oh yeah, so what are you going to do about Hanna?" she asked, i sighed because honestly i had no idea. "No idea. Which is odd seeing as i always have an idea." I said.

"Hmm…well how about you invite her out? Caleb wanted to go out again tonight, come along with Hanna and maybe in a comfortable setting you'll be okay." Aria said,

That reminded me of something, "Oh god Caleb! What do i tell him?" "Spence relax, i'm sure if you explain it to him he'll understand. I doubt he's going to let years of friendship go to ruins over a kiss i forced on you."

Aria said soothingly and i hoped she was right, "Look go over, talk to Hanna and see if she's up to it. If she is text me and i'll tell you where to meet us."

I nodded and got off the bed, "Okay..and Aria…thank you. I'm still not comfortable with this whole thing but..thank you." I said and she smiled, she got up and hugged me. "No problem Spence." We smiled at each other and i grabbed my bag before leaving her house.

As i was in my car driving, things seemed to catch up with me. I had just kissed my friend, i was potentially into girls and i was on my way to ask Hanna Marin to hang out with me. Okay had Hell frozen over in the last few hours?

I pulled up in front of Hanna's house but remained seated in the car, I can't believe i was doing this. Any of this. I couldn't believe how fast my life had changed in a week.

But..maybe it was for the better. I didn't feel as empty as i had before, for so long my life had been dictated for me. I didn't want that anymore, i looked in the mirror of my car and sighed. I was still the same Spencer, but..there were a few new things about me.

They weren't completely bad, at least not in my mind. My parents would be something different however, but hey..what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

With new determination, i got out of the car and walked up to the front door. I took a deep breath and knocked, i wouldn't let anyone control my life anymore. I wanted to be free, i wanted to have fun and experience new things.

I wanted…i wanted to live. That was the last thought in my mind as the door opened up.

**A/N okay that was not how i had originally planned it, but you know i started writing and that happened. I am pretty pleased with the chapter however, oh and just a warning i might be changing the rating within a few chapters. Okay well don't forget to review! bye lovelies xx**


	14. Sinful Melodies and Gorgeous Nightmares

The door opened to reveal Hanna standing there looking at me with an expression of mild shock, "What are you doing here Hastings?" She asked, "Oh umm well…i…uh..can i come in?" I asked nervously and she raised an eyebrow but stepped back to allow me to pass.

I walked inside and glanced around, "Where's your mom?" I asked, "She had a meeting. Now what do you want?" Hanna said and looked at me, she was still in her pajamas but that didn't make her look any less intimidating. Okay..i could do this. It would be easy.

"Well i was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out…with me..tonight." I said, "But you don't have to i'm sure you have way better things to do and it was kind of rude of me to barge over here uninvited and maybe i should have called first or something." Oh god i was rambling, i did that when i was extremely nervous.

Hanna let out a laugh and said "Breathe Hastings! God you talk like a mile a minute." I blushed knowing that wasn't too far from the truth, "And to answer your question, sure i'll hang out with you, but may i ask as to why you suddenly desire my company?" She said

"Well..i was talking with Aria and she put a couple things in perspective for me. Look its just as..friends." I said, Hanna looked at me before shrugging "Okay then. When and where?" She asked.

Whoa wait…had Hanna actually agreed? Wow, okay it was true Hell had frozen over. Ah well "Uh i don't know, i have to ask Aria since we're meeting up with her and my friend Caleb. But i'll text you?" I said and Hanna nodded but said nothing.

"Well..i'll talk to you in a bit." I said awkwardly and made my way to the door, Hanna pulled it open and shot me a smirk as i walked out before slamming the door shut. I walked to my car in a dazed state and it didn't really kick in until i was halfway home. Hanna had agreed to hang out with me, i had kissed Aria barely half an hour ago and i might be bisexual.

I couldn't help it, i burst into fits of laughter. I didn't stop laughing even as i got out of my car and walked into the house. I finally settled down and texted Aria, _She said yes. _Her reply came back less then a minute later. _SHE DID?! _I laughed a bit and typed back, _Yes. Where are we meeting? _I walked up to my room as i waited and sat on my bed.

_I'm coming over! Be there in less then ten._ Aria texted back and i grinned knowing she was probably going to be a ball of excited energy. I laid on my bed as i waited for Aria and i must have drifted off for a bit because i woke up to someone shaking me and amused hazel eyes staring at me.

"Hello there sleeping beauty!" Aria said and laughed, i sat up groggily and rubbed my eyes "Sorry i must have dozed off, how did you get in?" I said and Aria shrugged "Your back door was open." She said and smiled, i nodded and stretched my tense muscles.

"Okay so i brought clothes over for me to change into and now if you'll excuse me i have to search through your closet and see if i can find anything…umm…remember that what i say next is full of love, but something not so bland." Aria said and i narrowed my eyes, "Hey! My clothes are not bland." I said and crossed my arms.

Aria shook her head and threw open my closet, i watched her as she rifled through it all making little comments under her breath that i couldn't hear and finally she gave a triumphant cry, "Finally!"

Aria came over and tossed a pair of black skinny jeans at me and, "Here wear this, i couldn't find a decent shirt so you'll just use one that i brought with me." I looked at the jeans then at her and she simply stared at me.

I rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom to change, the jeans were tight and that was saying a lot seeing as i was skinny as hell and rarely anything was too tight on me. it took a bit of struggling but i finally got the button done and left only my tank top on.

I walked out of the bathroom and found Aria had changed as well, she was wearing a black dress that stopped at mid thigh, a short black leather jacket and ankle length black high heeled boots. Compared to her i looked like the ugly stepsister and i didn't hesitate to tell her that.

"Spencer Hastings! You are far from the ugly stepsister, besides i still have to do your makeup. Oh and here." She said and tossed a shirt at me, i looked at it and sighed. It was white, long-sleeved but had a slit down the side of each sleeve from the shoulder to the wrist, the front was low cut and laced up partially with black ribbons. I took off my shirt and slipped the other one on, my eyes widened when i realized it just barely covered my stomach and clung to my body.

"Oh no, Aria i am not wearing this. If i even partially stretch my arms up my stomach will show." I said, "I know and that's the point." Aria said simply and walked over, she untied the first few ribbons leaving part of my chest exposed but not indecently so.

"Aria! No i am not wearing this." I said and crossed my arms over my chest self-consciously. Aria glared at me and said, "Yes you are. I will drag you if i have to, don't underestimate this size, i can and will do it." I laughed at how serious she looked and finally sighed.

"Fine! I'll go." I said and she beamed at me, "Good girl, now sit so i can do your makeup." I sat down on my bed and sighed as Aria began to torture me, i mean uh..apply my makeup. When she finished she held a mirror up in front of me and i was shocked at what i saw.

Normally i don't care much about makeup, seeing it as rather pointless but now i was wondering if that had been a mistake. Aria had done my eyes in a light smoky grey and lined my eyes with black, she had added mascara to lengthen my dismal lashes and added a little color to my cheeks.

I was amazed at the difference it made and felt myself smiling, "Wow." i said and Aria grinned, "See how beautiful you can be Spence? Now come on, we're meeting Caleb someplace near Hollis. Here give me your phone, i'll text Hanna the directions for you." She said and i wordlessly handed her my phone. I slipped on a pair of three inch black heels that i wore only on certain occasions and we walked outside to Aria's car.

She handed me back my phone as we got inside and she started driving, i glanced at the time and saw it was only about seven-thirty. I sat back as Aria drove and closed my eyes, "Okay you are the most boring person to be around sometimes." Aria said and i waved my hand dismissively at her but kept my eyes closed, she sighed and turned on the radio.

Lights by Ellie Goulding began to play and i absently hummed along, i hummed along to the entire song and it finished just as Aria stopped the car. "Okay here we are, Caleb said he'd meet us inside so come on." Aria said and we got out of the car, i looked up at the place we were and frowned.

It was a bar i could tell that much but it looked a lot nicer then the one i had picked Aria up from, the purple neon sign said "Sinful Melodies" I assumed it was the name and followed Aria as she walked inside. I glanced around and saw the inside was actually nice.

There were a few pool tables, the music had a steady beat to it and unlike Snookers it didn't reek of cigarettes and heavy alcohol and i was thankful for it. It was dimly lit but the energy felt high and i found myself relaxing just a bit.

"Caleb!" Aria yelled and i looked up to see Caleb approaching, my lips curved into a smile as he greeted both me and Aria. "Hello you two, you both look very nice." He said and gave Aria a hug before giving me one as well.

He held on slightly longer and whispered, "She told me what happened this afternoon, for the record i'm okay with it. Just a bit disappointed i missed all the action." I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder. He laughed and said, "Ow that actually hurt!" He said and rubbed his shoulder exaggeratedly, "You deserved it." I said and grinned.

"Yeah yeah. Now where's this infamous Hanna hmm? I'm curious to meet her." Caleb said and slung an arm around both mine and Aria's shoulder. "No idea, she should be here soon though. At least i hope." I said,

"Well come on, lets get a drink while we wait!" Aria said and we walked over to the bar, we sat down on the stools and Aria ordered "Amstel please." "Same here." Caleb said, they both looked at me and i rolled my eyes "One of us is going to have to drive so i'll pass." Caleb and Aria both rolled their eyes at me and started a conversation amongst themselves.

I turned in my chair and surveyed the place, a few people were dancing, some were playing pool but almost everyone was laughing or smiling. I wasn't used to places like this but i had to admit it wasn't that bad.

My eyes were drawn to the entrance and my breath hitched, there she was. As she walked closer i saw that her hair was in curls again, she had on a dark blue ripped skinny jeans, a black tank top that tied from her waist all the way up her ribs on both sides and black lace up boots.

Her lips were curved up into a smirk and her eyes were lined in black liner again, making them stand out dramatically but not in a bad way. She stopped in front of me and her eyes surveyed me before finally meeting mine. "Wow Hastings, you sure know how to clean up." She said.

I wondered if i should have been insulted or flattered, "Wish i could say the same but seeing as this seems to be your normal look i can't." I said and mentally berated myself for saying that. God it was like i had no filter around her.

Hanna merely laughed and took the seat beside me, "This is a nice place, never seen it before." She said and glanced around, well at least i wasn't the only one amazed by it. "Caleb found it." I said and nodded towards Caleb and Aria who were on their second drink and talking intensely.

"Hey you two, we just got here try not to get drunk yet." I said and Caleb looked up and rolled his eyes but then he looked at Hanna and frowned. "Is that her?" He asked and Hanna snorted from beside me, "I have a name." She said and Caleb smiled slightly, "Sorry. You're Hanna right?" He asked.

She nodded and said, "The one and only." She smirked and i saw Caleb laugh, "Well its nice to finally meet you. I've definitely heard a lot about you, brainiac over there never stops talking about you." He said and my eyes widened. What the hell was he doing?! Hanna glanced at me with an unreadable expression before turning back to Caleb.

"I assume it wasn't all pleasant things?" She asked and Caleb grinned, "Oh of course not, she had nothing but wonderful things to say about you." He said and Hanna actually laughed, "If you say so." The brief tension that had been there evaporated and soon we were all talking.

Hanna even said a few words to Aria who only managed to stutter and make a fool of herself, i couldn't decide whether it was due to the alcohol or the nervousness of actually talking to Hanna. Either way it was hilarious, Caleb of course hadn't gotten away for doing what he'd done before. I'd convinced him to dance with me while Hanna and Aria talked, i may have accidentally stepped on his foot with my heel while dancing.

He winced but wisely said nothing on the matter, he did shoot me a dirty look as we walked back to the bar but i simply smiled innocently. "Caleb i want to dance now!" Aria said when she saw us and jumped up, she grabbed Caleb's hand and dragged him away to dance. I chuckled and sat down next to Hanna, she was twirling a beer bottle around on the bar with one hand and looking around with a slightly bored expression.

I bit my lip and wondered if i should ask her to dance, would it be awkward? Or maybe she would say no and i'd end up looking like an idiot, i noticed Hanna sit up straighter as a new song began to play and said "I love this song." Well..that just made things a lot easier for me.

I grabbed her hand and led her over to where the others were dancing, she looked surprised but didn't protest. I wasn't familiar with the song but it was fast paced and the beat was decent,

_I've got another confession to make_

_So complicated let me try to explain_

_Don't want this feeling to go away_

_So it stays (It stays)_

_(It stays) (It stays)_

The lyrics surprised me a bit because it reminded me of the confusing feelings i had for Hanna but i was having a hard time focusing on that because of the way Hanna was dancing, she moved effortlessly and gracefully. Her hips were swaying side to side and her whole posture seemed relaxed.

_Is it the way that you talk_

_That's causing me to freak_

_Is it the way that you laugh_

_That's making my heart beat_

_Is it the way that you kiss_

_It's gotta be the way that you taste_

_(You taste) (You taste) (You taste)_

I was entranced by her movements, her eyes were focused on me and they seemed to burn with fire. She moved closer and soon we were dancing in synch, we weren't touching but we were close to it.

_You're such a gorgeous nightmare_

_Old habits never seem to go away_

_You make me feel brand new, Yeah_

_We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life_

_I feel so alive, I feel so alive!_

She was clouding my senses again, the only thing i was aware of was her and the music that seemed to describe our rocky relationship.

_First impressions are hard to erase_

_It's in my mind and just won't go away_

_Maybe I'm playing my cards way too safe_

_I've gotta change (Change) (Change) (Change)_

She smirked at me and her hand brushed against my side, it was just a whisper of a touch but it made me shiver. She turned her back on me, her hips still moving to the beat of the song. Feeling impulsive i grabbed her and pulled her flush against my body, she tensed for a brief moment before relaxing.

_Is it the way that you feel against my body_

_Is it the way that you act, so damn naughty_

_Is it the way that you shake_

_When your hips move to the bass _

_(The bass) (The bass) (The bass)_

Our hips moved at the same time, to the same rhythm. She pressed her back even closer against me and i placed my hands on her hips, her hands came up and rested over mine.

_You're such a gorgeous nightmare_

_Old habits never seem to go away_

_You make me feel brand new, Yeah_

_We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life_

Hanna's head tilted back, her face turned to the side and i could feel her warm breath on my neck. It sent shivers down my back and i closed my eyes.

_I feel so alive, I feel so alive... _

_(I feel so alive)_

I leaned my head down and brushed my lips against her throat, at this point i wasn't thinking clearly. All i could see, smell, hear, and think about was Hanna. I knew that i would probably regret it in the morning because that's the way i was but right now…i didn't care.

_You're such a gorgeous nightmare_

_Old habits never seem to go away_

_You make me feel brand new, Yeah_

_We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life_

"Hastings.." Hanna said quietly and ground her hips into mine, i wasn't used to this but god did it feel amazing.

_You're such a gorgeous nightmare_

_Old habits never seem to go away_

_You make me feel brand new, Yeah_

_We resurrect, It's like I've come back to life_

She turned around in my arms and stared at me, her eyes weren't filled with ice this time. No they were full of fire, passion, longing, emotions that i had never seen in Hanna before.

_I feel so alive, I feel so alive, _

_I feel so alive, I feel so alive…_

The song ended and Hanna's lips curved into a smirk, "Thank you." She said and she was so close that her lips brushed against mine as she spoke, not enough to be classified as a kiss but enough to make my stomach erupt with butterflies.

She pulled away and glanced at her watch, "I have to go, but i had fun. See you around Hastings." She said and before i could reply she turned and walked away, leaving me staring after her as she walked out.

"Damn Spence, i didn't know you could dance like that." Aria said as she came up next to me, "Yeah…neither did i." I said absently, still staring at where Hanna had left.

**A/N damn this took me forever to write . but i am extremely happy with this. The song i used was Gorgeous Nightmare by Escape the Fate, i thought it would be the perfect song for Hanna and Spencer. Don't forget to review and let me know what you think, bye for now lovelies xx**


	15. Metal Pot Lids and Pillow Wars

**A/N yes i know i'm a horrible person for not updating sooner D: but i had the worst writer's block ever -_- and then i forgot where i left off so i went back and re-read the last few chapters of this story. I know embarrassing, but thank you to everyone who has added this story to favorites and story alert. Now i will shut up so you can read, enjoy!**

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E!" Aria shouted and burst into giggles, i sighed and tightened my grip on her waist. "Aria please stop, i need to get you in the house." I said as patiently as i could.

Although truth is, i was completely out of patience. "Sure Spensaaaaaah!" She said and giggled again, i rolled my eyes and continued walking to her front door. Caleb should have been the one dealing with this but since he was passed out in the back it was up to me, ugh i would have to remember to kill them both tomorrow.

I managed to get us inside the house but now i was faced with the problem of the stairs. I looked at Aria who seemed to be off in LaLa land and sighed.

"Alright Aria, i'm going to carry you up the stairs okay?" I said, Aria nodded and i thanked god she was tiny. I mean i was strong but if she had been built more like Emily i probably wouldn't have been able to do it.

I carefully lifted her up and she wrapped her arms around my neck, i started climbing the stairs slowly so i wouldn't get thrown off balance too much if she decided to act crazy.

"Spensaaaaah!" Aria said and i looked down at her, "Yeah?" I said, she smiled at me and said "You're my bestest friend!" "You're mine too." I said and laughed. I went into her bedroom and placed her down on bed, "Alright time to make you comfortable." I said and pulled off her shoes and helped her out of her jacket.

"Do you want me to help you change?" I asked and she shook her head and laid down, "No..sleepy. Go away please." She mumbled and i laughed.

"Okay Okay i'm going. Night Aria." I said and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before tiptoeing out of the room and shutting the door behind me. I walked back outside and got in the car, Caleb was still passed out and i rolled my eyes.

Those two really could not handle their alcohol, shaking my head i started driving back to my house. I pulled into the driveway and got out, hmm now i was faced with the problem of Caleb. I couldn't really leave him there and i for damn sure couldn't carry him.

I finally reached in and slapped him across the face, he shot straight up and i moved out of the way quickly. "Ow! What the hell was that for?" He said and rubbed his cheek.

I shrugged and smiled innocently, "I didn't know how else to wake you up and i didn't want to let you just sleep in the car." He rolled his eyes and stumbled out, i wrapped my arm around his waist to help him and he threw his arm around my shoulders.

We walked into the house and i made him lie down on the couch, "Now sleep it off, i'm exhausted and going up to bed." I said and Caleb nodded, "Yeah yeah brainiac, night." He muttered and i threw a pillow at his face before escaping up the stairs.

I heard his angry shout and laughed as i went into my room, i changed into my pajamas and washed off my makeup before crawling into bed. Tonight had been eventful to say the least, as i laid there i remembered the way Hanna had danced with me.

The way her body had felt pressed against me and her scent clouding my senses. She had made me forget every sensible thing in those few minutes and it both excited and scared me, I wasn't going to lie..i wanted more.

What exactly did more mean though? And what if Hanna was just using me because she was bored? I mean maybe she didn't even really like me in any way, oh god this was so confusing. Feeling a headache coming on, i turned on my side and closed my eyes. I would just wait until i saw her again to talk to her about what happened and then i would go from there.

* * *

I walked downstairs the next morning and found Caleb and Aria both sitting in the kitchen, "Hey, when did you get here?" I asked Aria as i went over to the coffee machine. "Few minutes ago." She said and groaned.

I looked at Aria and saw she had big round sunglasses covering her face and she looked like hell, hangover and from the looks of it, a bad one. Caleb wasn't looking much better either, i smirked to myself and figured this would be the perfect time for a little payback.

"Hey guys you know if you're hungry i could cook you some eggs, filled with gooey cheese and or even some oatmeal l if you wanted, although my oatmeal always comes out really chunky looking and slightly grayish. Hmm but i could make those eggs." I said casually and snuck a glance at them, i was pleased to see Caleb suddenly look sick and Aria groan and place her head in her arms.

I laughed and leaned forward against the counter, resting my elbows on it and said "Something wrong you two? You're looking a bit sick, maybe that food will do you some good. I think i even have some bacon left in the fridge." Caleb got up and ran out of the room, Aria looked up and removed her glasses to glare at me.

"So evil." She said and i smiled sweetly at her, "Payback for making me take care of you two last night." I said and took a sip of my coffee, she rolled her eyes and groaned again. "Oh my head." She said and i shook my head, "Shouldn't drink so much." I said and she shot me another glare.

Caleb came back in after a few minutes still looking slightly sick and sat down heavily in the chair, "I hate you sometimes brainiac." He muttered, "I love you too tech head." I said simply and handed him and Aria cups of coffee.

They both drank them gratefully and the life seemed to return to Aria, "So…last night was definitely interesting don't you think Spence?" Aria said and i choked on my coffee, "Ye…yeah totally." i coughed out. Aria smirked at me and i suddenly felt a bit apprehensive.

"Especially that dance between you and Hanna, you guys were practically in your own world there." Aria continued and i shrugged, "It was nothing, just enjoying the music." I said casually.

Aria rolled her eyes, "Yeah and all that sexual tension that suddenly entered the room when you two started dancing?" "Whoa okay i think its time for me to bail while you two chit chat." Caleb said and stood up, "Sit down, you're staying for this." Aria said, not even looking at him.

"But.." Caleb started but Aria cut him off, "No buts, sit." Caleb sat back down and glared at his coffee cup while i silently laughed at how Aria already had him wrapped around her finger.

"Now…what exactly do you plan to do about Hanna?" Aria asked and i sighed, "I don't know, i mean last night while we were dancing i just completely forgot everything." I said, "Hmm..well maybe you should hang out with her again. By yourself." Aria said with a grin.

"I don't know Aria." I said and Aria shook her head, "No! You are doing it okay? Okay." I raised an eyebrow at her no nonsense tone and shook my head, "That may work on Caleb but its not gonna work on me." I said and crossed my arms.

"Spencer Hastings, you are going to call Hanna and arrange a time for you two to hang out and if you don't i will." Aria said calmly and stared at me defiantly. I sighed, "Whatever. I'll do it later." I said and Aria beamed at me, "Perfect!"

I rolled my eyes and looked at Caleb who had stayed silent throughout the entire discussion, "What did you think of her?" I asked and he looked at me before shrugging, "She seems decent enough, then again i don't know her well enough to judge so i'll just have to wait and see." He said.

I nodded at his reply and we sat there in silence for a few minutes before a knock at the door broke that silence, i went to go answer it and saw Em standing there, "Hey, can i come in?" She asked with a smile, "Do you really have to ask? Caleb and Aria are in the kitchen, come on." I said and allowed her to pass before shutting the door.

We walked into the kitchen together and Aria and Caleb both smiled at Emily, "Hey guys." Em said pleasantly and took a seat, "Hey Em, how you been?" Caleb asked, she shrugged and said "I'm okay, how about you?" "Hungover." He said simply with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Em, "They both are, watch this." I said and grabbed two metal pot lids and crashed them together loudly, Caleb and Aria both covered their ears and glared at me.

"Oh you mean mean PERSON!" Aria complained while me and Emily laughed uncontrollably. "Okay okay i'm done, but just remember this next time you want to drink too much and leave me to take care of you." I managed to say in between my laughs.

"Alright that's it, i'm going home and hiding under my covers." Aria said and stood up, placing her glasses back on her face. "Mind giving me a ride?" Caleb asked and stood up as well. Aria shrugged and smiled at him, "Bye you two, behave now." I said and laughed.

Caleb scowled at me but gave me a hug anyways, "I'll talk to you later brainiac." He said and i grinned, "Okay." Aria came over and hugged me as well and both said goodbye to Emily before leaving.

"So i have the feeling i missed something, so mind telling me what?" Emily said and i looked at her in surprise. "How did you know?" I asked and she smiled at me, "Oh come on Spence, i know something happened. You're more…carefree and light this morning." I continued to stare at her and she quickly backtracked.

"Not that you're not carefree sometimes its just that…uhm..i should probably stop talking now huh?" I nodded and laughed, "Its fine Em, come on lets go in the living room and i'll tell you everything."

We walked into the living room and got comfortable on the couch, i took a deep breath as Emily looked at me with her warm pleasant eyes and i knew if it were anyone else i would never tell them but i knew i could trust Em not to judge me and help me as best as she could.

So i launched into the events of yesterday starting from when i had dropped off Hanna's jacket to the night at the bar. I glanced at Emily a few times during the story and her expression ranged from shocked, to amused to extremely shocked.

When i finally finished, she sat there for a few minutes and i could tell she was thinking of something to say. "Well…i am so sad that i missed all that." She finally said and started laughing, after a minute i joined in and soon we were in fits of laughter.

Finally we calmed down and Em said, "Jokes aside, it sounds like you really like her and trust me i know how you feel about this whole liking girls thing. Its scary, and i know how your parents are so that's probably not helping at all."

I nodded and sighed, "Yeah, but i figured what they don't know won't hurt them." I said and Emily looked at me disapprovingly, "Spencer, keeping a secret like that isn't always a good thing. I know that's a bit hypocritical seeing as i haven't told my parents yet but still." She said.

"I know, i know. I'll tell them…eventually. Maybe when i'm in college." I said jokingly and Emily smiled, "So, what are you going to do about Hanna?" She asked, "Aria told me to call her and make plans to hang out with her on my own but i'm kinda scared."

"Don't be, i mean it seems like she might like you too. Just hang out as friends and see where it goes, if it makes you feel more comfortable hang out somewhere public." "God Em what would i do without you?" I said and laughed,

"Probably be a boring bookworm" She said cheekily and i hit her with a pillow, "Ouch Em." I said in a mock hurt voice. "Aww i'm sorry did i hurt poor Spencer's feelings?" She said and i hit her with the pillow again "Yes!" "Alright alright I'M SORRY!" She called and i stopped hitting her with the pillow.

I forgot how much fun it could be to hang out with Emily, god so much had changed in such a short time but moments like this reminded me that not everything had changed.


End file.
